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Colbert: After Obama takes our bullets, he’s buying up Rush’s hookers and canned frosting
A trip down the conspiracy theory rabbit-hole — if that even is a rabbit, and not a groundhog in a costume — had Stephen Colbert convinced on Monday that the threat of a federal ammunition buyout was real. And it wasn’t stopping there. “If Obama can’t take our guns, he’ll…
Colbert: Like nerds, Republicans ‘have no idea how to relate to women’
While most people saw President Barack Obama’s “Jedi mind meld” gaffe as an easy joke, Stephen Colbert argued on Monday that it was an opportunity for conservatives to relate to one of Obama’s core demographics: nerds. “After all, Republicans and nerds have so much in common,” he explained. “They both…
Colbert: Sequester not a terrible problem, it’s a terrible solution
Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took on the sequester, the looming series of forced budget cuts that are going into effect after Congress’ failure to hammer out a budget bill. “Tonight,” said Colbert, “a ticking time bomb goes off in Washington, and for once I am…
Colbert: Gitmo trials designed by Bush, implemented by Obama, inspired by Kafka
On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert revealed that some external agency is controlling the media’s access to information at the military tribunal of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the alleged mastermind of the terrorist attacks of Sep. 11, 2001. Colbert opened the segment on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s…
Colbert drops character and endorses sister’s run for Congress: ‘She’s sane!’
After jokingly refusing to endorse her congressional candidacy on his show, Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert broke down and broke character at a fundraiser he hosted over the weekend to do just that, telling South Carolinians in a video published Monday that he endorses his sister, Elizabeth Colbert-Busch, mostly because…
Colbert: One of these days, the Catholic church will make it 10 days with no sex abuse scandal
On Monday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took on the sad task of discussing the sex abuse scandals rocking the Catholic church, and updating his work safety-style “Days since the Catholic Church had a Sex Scandal” sign. “Folks, as you may know, on Thursday, Pope Benedict…
Colbert on Hagel: ‘What else is he hiding that hasn’t happened?’
On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert addressed the “Friends of Hamas” flap, tracing the path of the story from reporter’s flippant comment to right wing media buzzword to Republican senators blocking the nomination of Secretary of Defense candidate Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE). Given the questions…
Colbert: At least this European tainted meat scandal doesn’t involve Silvio Berlusconi
Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert discussed the U.K.’s horse meat scandal and how, for once, the tainted meat they’re trying to put in you in Europe isn’t attached to Silvio Berlusconi. “You know, folks,” he began, “as an American, I like to talk about other countries…
Colbert on Obama and Tiger’s golf game: Where’s the judicial oversight?
Stephen Colbert echoed his “colleagues’” complaints on Tuesday, calling out President Barack Obama’s administration for cutting the press off from his President’s Day weekend golf game with Tiger Woods. “There are a lot of holes in this story — specifically, 18 of them,” Colbert said, leaving him with plenty of…
Colbert: Hope you sacrificed a goat for Valentine’s Day
On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert enthused about the pleasures of a traditional Lupercalia — the holiday upon which St. Valentine’s Day was originally based — including drinking skins of wine, sacrificing goats and whipping women to make them more fertile. Colbert began the show…
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