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Colbert: Science says old people are more gullible, which explains Fox News
Tuesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert looked into afflictions suffered by aging Americans including increased inability to determine when someone is untrustworthy, “Low-T” (low testosterone) and what Colbert calls “Low-O” (low female orgasm). Older people, Colbert began, are less able to trust their gut instincts, according to…
Colbert: ‘Hobbit’ cameo rumors ‘an exciting and unverified escalation of my career’
Sitting near a transHobbitfied new set Monday, Stephen Colbert traced the stories related to his rumored involvement in the upcoming Hobbit movie adaptation. His visit to the film’s set earlier this year, the Colbert Report host said, played out like a media game of telephone, as the press went from…
Colbert slams Eisenhower for failing to kill ‘Moon Hitler’
Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert said Thursday that he’s finally pinpointed the moment America started heading downhill: when President Dwight Eisenhower (R) passed on a plan to drop a nuclear bomb on the moon. A report out last Sunday detailed the preposterous-sounding, Cold War-era plan American military planners hatched to…
Colbert tells women how to win the ‘War on Men’
Women don’t need to do more to attract the right guy, Stephen Colbert said Wednesday, they need to do less. “Maybe stop voting. Or stop talking — that’s mysterious,” he offered. “I mean, what are you girls thinking?” What women need to do, he said, is follow the advice of…
Colbert: Anti-tax pledge is eternal, ‘like a pact with the devil, or a gym membership’
While other conservatives are abandoning Grover Norquist, Stephen Colbert said Tuesday he would stick by the anti-tax advocate — after all, a promise is a promise. “An anti-tax pledge is eternal and unbreakable,” Colbert said. “It is like a pact with the devil, or a gym membership.” More and more…
Colbert: Commercialism is ruining Black Friday
Monday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert asserted that commercialism is ruining the most important retail sales day of the year, Black Friday. The host began his first show back from the Thanksgiving break by explaining that he’s been catching up on the Showtime program, “Homeland.” After quickly…
Colbert issues ‘Severe Candidate Warning’ for swing states
Monday night, on the Election Eve edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert issued a “Severe Candidate Warning” to the election’s swing states. President Barack Obama and former Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) will be dividing their time between the states of Florida, New Hampshire, Colorado, Ohio, Wisconsin and Iowa,…
Colbert on Romney’s faith: ‘With God, all things are deletable’
On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert debuted a new “Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger” segment, dedicated this week to the Swedish inventors of a constantly-updating clip-on web cam and Evangelist Billy Graham. Colbert opened by saying that there’s little in life he…
Colbert: Romney ‘achieved plausible’ in final debate
The conservative pundits were right about Mitt Romney’s performance in the final presidential debate, Stephen Colbert argued Tuesday. “He achieved ‘plausible,’” Colbert said. “Millions of Americans looked at Mitt Romney [Monday] night and said, ‘He looks like he could sit in an oval room.’” More importantly, Colbert said, Romney was…
Colbert: Lying worked for Romney, so f*&k it
On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert broke down former Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA)’s performance at Wednesday night’s presidential debate, saying that of course the governor excelled at a debate that was squarely in his area of expertise, “soul-crushing boredom.” “The first half hour was an…
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