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Colbert: NSA scandal means Statue of Liberty is ‘holding a boom mic’
On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took a moment out of his special Paul McCartney broadcast to discuss the ongoing NSA revelations and growing outrage around the PRISM program. First, Colbert pointed out that “millions of Americans whose privacy has been invaded were shocked to…
Colbert on NSA snooping: We must find the courage ‘to stay scared sh-tless’
Stephen Colbert found himself agreeing with President Barack Obama on Tuesday in welcoming a discussion over the National Security Agency’s (NSA) gathering of phone and internet usage records — in fact, he said, it was well worth having that discussion when it was reported in May 2006. “Folks, the fact…
Colbert on NSA spying: Now we can find out if Lindsay Graham is a lesbian
Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert delved into revelations that the National Security Agency has been routinely spying on everyday Americans, conducting wholesale data-mining operations by prying into the private communications of users of Apple iChat, Facebook, Verizon phones and other means of communication. The Fox News…
Colbert: Monsanto’s ‘zombie wheat’ is ‘return of the walking bread’
Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert asked why everyone is getting so upset about the spontaneous appearance in an Oregon field of Monsanto’s herbicide-resistant “Roundup Ready” wheat plants, in spite of the fact that all strains of the genetically modified organism (GMO) crop were supposedly destroyed in…
Colbert pays tribute to ‘Valley of the Dolls’ Rep. Bachmann
Stephen Colbert began his show Tuesday with a highlight montage in honor of “conservative giant” Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), who announced on May 29 that she will not seek re-election. “There you have it. No fifth term. A political career over in the blink of an eye,” Colbert said after…
Colbert lauds Internet wifi-ready rifle that lets ‘your gun make Facebook friends’
Stephen Colbert returned to the Colbert Report desk Monday night “pumped as a 12-gauge” about a breakthrough in modern weaponry: a rifle that not only tracks your target for you, but helps you post the kill on your Facebook page. “Now you’ll be able to continue to track your prey,…
Colbert: If atheists can go to heaven, I want my Catholicism refunded
Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert marveled at the announcement by Pope Francis that there are good atheists who are loved by God. “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the…
Colbert: John ‘MC Tangerine Dream’ Boehner is right about IRS scandal
On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert discussed the difficulty he is currently facing when so many scandals are wracking the Obama administration at once. Trying to choose which scandal to report on at any given time, Colbert said, “is like trying to pick which one…
Colbert knocks Census: It’s like a drunk ex-boyfriend showing up on your porch
Stephen Colbert rallied behind Rep. Jeff Duncan’s (R-SC) call to gut the Census Bureau’s fact-finding powers. “Every few years they show up on our front porch demanding personal information,” Colbert raged, before bellowing, “It’s like a drunk ex-boyfriend: ‘Susan! Who’s that new guy you’re dating? What’s the highest level of…
Colbert concludes tea partiers are ‘a bunch of pussies’ after consulting his lawyer
Stephen Colbert emerged from a glass case of scandal journalism on Monday to find out there was a perfectly good reason his own super PAC had been “slow-walked” by the Internal Revenue Service. “Why has my application for tax-exempt status never been granted?” he asked his lawyer, Trevor Potter. “Because…
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