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Colbert ‘regrets’ missing out on media’s partisan Aurora speculation

After pausing Monday night to offer his sympathy to the community of Aurora, following Friday’s multiple theater shooting, Stephen Colbert expressed regret on The Colbert Report – that he couldn’t join in on the rampant partisan speculation around media circles. “There was a ton of inaccurate information I did not…

Colbert to Fred Willard: Use the Internet for porn like everyone else

Thursday night on Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert lamented the arrest of actor Fred Willard for “lewd conduct” in an X-rated movie theater. Police arrested the “Best in Show” and “A Mighty Wind” actor for allegedly masturbating in public while watching a pornographic film. Colbert had two…

Colbert: Romney struggling in the electoral ‘popularity contest’

On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took on the issue of former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (R)’s lack of likability. In televised debates, on the stump and in interviews, the presumptive Republican nominee comes off as wooden, condescending and insincere, no matter how many folksy…

Colbert: Nevada Republicans afraid of ‘none of the above’

Nevada Republicans are scared of “None of the Above,” Stephen Colbert said Tuesday on “The Colbert Report,” and that’s why they have filed a federal lawsuit to remove that option from their state’s ballots before the presidential election. The move is important, Colbert said, because of the undecided voters in…

Stephen Colbert: Romney’s singing ‘outsourced most of those notes to India’

Stephen Colbert opened up Monday’s episode of “The Colbert Report” by chiding Barack Obama for “running scared” from his presumptive challenger Mitt Romney’s business record as head of Bain Capital. “It’s like he is hellbent on making the word Bain synonymous with ‘a source of harm or ruin,’” Colbert said,…

Colbert to CNN and Fox: ‘You suck at news’

On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took cable news networks to task for jumping the gun and mistakenly announcing that the Supreme Court had struck down the bulk of the Affordable Care Act. On Thursday morning, as the world looked on, both CNN and Fox…

Colbert: ‘Gay’ Oreos are for ‘homo-snacks-uals’

On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert lamented the fact that America’s culture wars have made their way even into the world of our most innocuous snack foods. Earlier this month, in observation of LGBT Pride 2012, Oreo cookies posted a message on its Facebook page…

Colbert scolds Pixar for its ‘blatant rainbow agenda’

Tuesday night on Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert dedicated part of his “Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger” segment to the film and multimedia company Pixar, over what he called Pixar’s “blatant rainbow agenda.” Pixar just released the feature film, “Brave,” which tells the story…

Colbert: Only bad economic news is good news for Romney

On Monday night’s episode of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented an edition of his recurring “The Word” segment devoted to Republicans and their desire to see the economy fail in order to improve Mitt Romney’s electoral chances in November. The economy, Colbert said, has been “as sluggish as…

Colbert reveals the threat posed by ‘stoner babies’

On Thursday night’s episode of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert addressed a series of new threats facing our country in an installment of his series “Threat Down.” British naturalists, he said, have revealed a previously hidden archive of writings that tell of penguins’ total sexual depravity. In another story,…