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‘Old woman’ Colbert tells Maryland Dem.: Stop Obama from taking my Social Security
Stephen Colbert adopted the persona of a senior citizen on Monday to highlight Rep. Donna Edwards’ (D-MD) disagreement with President Barack Obama on whether to cut Social Security benefits. “Imagine I’m an old woman in your district,” Colbert proposed to Edwards, who represents her state’s 4th congressional district. “What do…
Mark Sanford to female MSNBC host: ‘I’d turn around’ trust question to you
Disgraced former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford on Tuesday was invited back on his pal Joe Scarborough’s MSNBC morning show on voting day in South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District and refused to directly answer a question about lying to his constituents and cheating on his wife, telling co-host Mika Brzezinski…
Colbert: After Obama takes our bullets, he’s buying up Rush’s hookers and canned frosting
A trip down the conspiracy theory rabbit-hole — if that even is a rabbit, and not a groundhog in a costume — had Stephen Colbert convinced on Monday that the threat of a federal ammunition buyout was real. And it wasn’t stopping there. “If Obama can’t take our guns, he’ll…
Colbert: Summer blockbuster movies are ‘destroying America’
Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert warned that certain summer blockbuster movies could be harboring secret anti-American themes. The new “Superman” film stars an Englishman and parts of “Iron Man 3″ were edited for a special Chinese-only edition. Colbert began the segment by confessing his love of…
Colbert: Rand Paul’s feelings are the real victims of Newtown
Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented a new edition of his recurring segment “The Word.” Wednesday night’s word was “N.R.A.-vana,” the blissful state of peace and acceptance that comes to a politician after they sell their soul to the gun lobby. “On the very first episode…
Colbert: ‘Let’s end poverty by flying the poor to sub-Saharan Africa’
Hearing about the practice of “medical repatriation” — hospitals shipping undocumented patients back to their countries of origin, often while unconscious — didn’t bother Stephen Colbert. Since, unbeknownst to him, immigrants get sick “just like normal people” (and it’s hard to buy lottery tickets while dealing with a catheter) this…
Colbert shares Yelp prison reviews for benefit of ‘violent criminals’ in his audience
Stephen Colbert shared some stories from the review site on Yelp Monday, he said, because he was looking out for his audience. “I know that a large segment of my audience is violent criminals,” he explained, before advising viewers on how to use his show’s new phone app while leading…
Colbert: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev should have been read his ‘Samantha rights’
Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert criticized President Barack Obama and the FBI for reading Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev his Miranda rights. The government should have taken a different tack, he said, and read Tsarnaev his “Samantha rights.” “Tonight I am in a great mood because…
Colbert: Mars rover’s penis doodle proves America’s ‘galactic supremacy’
On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented a segment called “Tiny Triumphs,” in which he celebrated the fact that the Mars rover is now drawing penises on the face of the planet, meaning that America is now treating the Earth’s nearest planetary neighbor like a…
Colbert takes on UMass ‘Poindexter’ who debunked pro-austerity study
Stephen Colbert had a bone to pick on Tuesday with the “left-leaning academi-aholes” at the University of Massachusetts who found a crucial error in the Harvard study fiscal conservatives have cited to justify government austerity policies. “Nerds!” the “Colbert Report” host shouted. “I bet you found them on a Friday…
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Commentary
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By Nora Eisenberg
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Sexual harasser learns same old excuses don’t work anymore
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The real problem with 'check your privilege': It’s too generous
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