imageDon Surber is angry - mind-rattlingly angry - that Barack Obama dared to insult America in Germany. Here are the offending words, dear readers, and I warn you that this is neither for the faint of heart nor the patriotic of spirit, threatening to rend your heart from your body upon a mere glance. The words, if spoken aloud, would be tantamount to opening the Lost Ark of the Covenant - a few years later you'll be stuck walking around with an annoying ethnic stereotype-slash-plot device.

I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.

Amazing... stupid.

Per my previous post, another reason that people may not like the GOP so much right now is because they view their fellow countrymen as a group of hypersensitive caterwaulers incapable of handling even the mildest of negative connotations towards their country. But the best part is the moral judgment that Surber passes on Germany:

Factual, yes. But totally unnecessary. He apologized overseas for”mistakes” ahem “around the world” in a nation we liberated and protected for 45 years at a great cost of treasure, as critics of Iraq say.

He apologized to a nation that exterminated 6 million Jews — two-thirds of all the Jews in Europe before the start of the war — for America?

By this standard - we may throughout perpetuity judge any nation based on the evils of its past (except our own) - is there a particular reason we're in Iraq? I mean, we're liberating/rebuilding/redecorating a country that systematically oppressed 25 million people and murdered hundreds of thousands of them, waged unprovoked war on its enemies and was also not particularly nice about those branches it had growing over into Kuwait's patio. Being a moral scold, while mightily empowering, also tends to put you into highly illogical and often constitutionally dangerous settings, like Bill Bennett in Vegas or James Dobson around people who've had sex.

This position raises a ton of interesting questions. If we are neither to apologize or admit fault to any nation with a transgression in its past, does the weight of the world's moral supremacy constantly rest with its newest nation? Do we reconvene in Austin and secede from the Union, at which point the Sovereign Republic of Barackistan may judge all those who stand in disrepute, and even apologize without fear of fools like Don Surber calling us traitors? Did Obama's words coax out the disembodied spirits of Hitler's undead army from the Victory Column, sending them roughshod over the German landscape to terrorize satin-wearing Eurotrash and wide-eyed schoolchildren begging for cheese and beer?

If so, who's got the movie rights?