Conservative actors are banding together as "Friends of Abe", a secret group of secret conservatives secretly worshiping at their portable altars of Ronald Reagan.

The group, whose members call themselves "Friends of Abe" after Abraham Lincoln, was organized as an underground movement because of fears that prominent industry titans with outspoken liberal views would retaliate, said participants. They often were reluctant to name members of the group in interviews for fear it would hurt their careers.

"It's a growing movement, and word is getting out that there's many of us in this business ...," said 1950s singer Pat Boone, one of the few conservatives to talk about the movement publicly. "If certain studio execs - hirers and firers - learn that this is a movement and growing, and that some of these people that they hire are of this inclination, these people could be unemployed."

You know, I know of a few very successful Republican actors - Fred Thompson, Kelsey Grammer, Bruce Willis - and it always seems as if failed Republican actors are willing to blame their failure on their political beliefs rather than on the fact that tons of people fail in Hollywood. Case in point: Ron Silver, who I remember getting on Fox News to protest the sort of roles he and other conservative actors were getting, ignoring the fact that before he supported Bush in 2000, he had a recurring role on Veronica's Closet. And he was the bad guy in Timecop. He kind of had a crappy career beforehand, and it's continued unabated down his path of mediocrity. Hell, even the world's worst "celebrities" are getting direct help from the McCain campaign to make an appearance in Iraq, at no apparent detriment to their inexplicable careers.

An idea: Hollywood aversion to conservative views may have something to do with the Republican view that it's the world's largest purveyor of communism and forced anal sex at age 15, and have no problem beating them over the head with it whenever they need to score easy family values points. Maybe instead of trying to tell the studio bosses that there's conservatives here, too, they should send that message to the GOP.

Or, alternately, we can have another few years of theorizing whether or not Iron Man was a hateful liberal screed against capitalism.