So, we’re about three weeks into the new McCain campaign, which gives us about another two weeks before he’s got to go and revamp the entire failed operation all over again.
First, let’s start with the stupid surrogates, namely Rep. Heather Wilson. Yesterday, she made this statement:
The McCain campaign has come up with an intriguing new way to sell his opposition to a timetable for withdrawal: McCain just might withdraw from Iraq sooner than Obama’s 16 month deadline!
“He’d like troops to come home earlier than 16 months if the conditions allow it,” said Congresswoman Heather Wilson of New Mexico, on a conference call with reporters just now. “Senator Obama has said it’s a 16-month timeline no matter what.”
Wilson, who, politically, is a dead woman walking, apparently feels as if she can just say anything she wants, no matter how detached from reality it is. This is likely because John McCain has decided to retcon the entire history of Iraq, making it harder to (totally) blame Wilson for being so spectacularly wrong.
You see, John McCain doesn’t actually know what’s going on in Iraq – he has the entire timeline of the Anbar Awakening wrong, falsely crediting it to the surge when it happened several months before surge troops entered Iraq. McCain is also giving us bullshit on oil drilling, insinuating entirely unrealistic timelines for seeing the negligible gains from his purported energy solution.
Yesterday, the Politico wrote a story declaring that “some people” were wondering if this constant stream of screwups was a function of McCain’s age, which is simply great political coverage – for McCain. It turns what has been, at best, a hilariously incompetent campaign whose only real skill has been the act of waiting out the surrounding incompetents until it was the only organization left standing into a commentary on McCain’s age – which it isn’t. McCain and his organization simply screw up a whole lot, which is understandable for a candidate and advisers who have really never been in a close race without losing (the GOP race was only “close” because it was so jam-packed with candidates). The question we keep hearing is whether or not Obama is prepared to be president, but it’s never really been asked if John McCain is prepared to run for the presidency.
Anyway, in honor of John McCain’s flailing campaign, I introduce the McCain Cake. McCain seems to communicate with food, sealing his love with the press through a one-two exchange of pork ribs and donuts. This is his gift to his supporters, letting them know that through the screwups and the misstatements, the flip-flops and the incoherence, he still loves the base that kind of but not really loves him back.
Who wants first slice?