A reader sent me a link to this blog post retorting to this hilarious comment:


The comments on tit-staring make me wish the women could occupy a man's body for a day. Ignoring tits in your visual field is as easy as it is for a woman to simply ignore a cute baby in the vicinity.

If it's as hard for a man not to gawk at someone's tits as it is for me not to squeal and run to a cute baby, then it must be very easy for men to avoid looking at tits indeed. Like, they anti-want to look at tits. I can think of few things that are less biologically programmed and more socially mandated than the squealing at babies thing for women. It's very pressure-intensive. In fact, if I was to list the three times in life when I wish I could just be a guy for an hour or so to get through the situation with the minimum amount of fuss, it would be:

1) Walking alone at night

2) When creepy older men with boundary issues are around looking for young women to hit on

3) When someone's passing the new baby around

It's so unfair, it really is. Men get off with a nod towards the new human being and a compliment. But if you're a woman, and you fall short of gushing praise and requests to hold the baby, you're being rude. If you do find the baby in your arms, everyone is evaluating you for your holding skills, whatever those might be.

I'm not saying that babies aren't cute or that I dislike them. But I don't want to hold a baby. I just don't. And I'm not a squealer. The whole situation of squealing and asking to hold the baby makes me feel like a fool, completely out of place. I try to be nice by smiling a lot and offering a lot of compliments, but since I can't manage the squeal, I'm falling short in this department. I kind of admire other women who've learned the squeal. It strikes me as one of the top level feminine skills you have to acquire, and I'm a complete failure.