imageI'll bet you weren't aware that until Barack Obama's quest for the presidency is over, Hillary Clinton actually owns the time 3:00 AM lock, stock and barrel. Anything that happens at 3:00 AM, from Taco Bell closing to your middle-of-the-night drink of water to someone's car alarm going off?

All your 3AMs are belong to Clinton!

Again, the people who are most outraged about slights to Hillary Clinton are people who've spent the better part of two decades trying to destroy her family and everything they've worked for. Kind of them, really.

UPDATE: Is there some master address to which I can submit any post relating to Hillary Clinton for screening? I actually had another joke I was going to tell here, but I'm certain that it'll spark another 20 comments about how sexist and Clinton-hating I am. And I've switched the picture in this post to a picture of me and Hillary Clinton chilling to see how fucking crazy the whiners are. I found Clinton to be charming, warm and great at managing a picture line, if anyone cares.

The first person who can tell me how I'm insulting Hillary Clinton based on this update wins an ice cream sundae.