For your health: Skip the sugar and have some sex instead
Proof positive that anti-choicers don’t care about your health: the Cupcakes for Life Campaign.
Oh yes, the idea is that you lure people in with cupcakes with slogans implying that babies spring full blown out of men’s penises, and that there’s no process called “pregnancy” that turns raw materials into babies, and once people have accepted your cupcakes, you hit them with a load of misinformation. The exact misinformation is hard to get to, since the website is down, but we all know the usual litany from the anti-sex brigade: abortion gives you breast cancer, sex outside of marriage makes your genitals rot off, the birth control pill will kill you, god will get you for having sex, just wait and see. The underlying argument of the anti-sex league never changes. In all forms, it can be boiled down to, “Sex is too risky and evil to even consider doing it, and the only option to
keep me from seething with jealousy keep yourself safe is to not fuck at all.”
But they are full of shit. They don’t care about your health, or about the dangers of risky behavior. Because if they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t be handing out cupcakes, which are little pockets of risk in and of themselves. There’s no such thing as a condom you can wrap over a cupcake to keep the refined sugar from doing its thing to your pancreas. If you develop Type II diabetes, there’s no quick outpatient surgery like an abortion to fix the problem. The argument for abstaining from cupcakes is much stronger than the argument for abstaining from sex. If you get herpes, the worst effects are that it’s occasionally uncomfortable and you have to tell your partners, which is embarrassing. But diabetes could result in amputations, loss of movement, loss of sexual desire/ability to perform, and even death. If anti-choicers really believe that the risks of sex are too high to bear, and that you should simply abstain, then they shouldn’t be hypocrites about this. The risks of eating sweets are way too high to bear, and they should also preach abstinence for that.
Indeed, I suggest that we counter this nonsense with a Pro-Choicers Against Diabetes Day. Pass out healthy snacks and information on proper nutrition. Encourage people to exercise more, and yes, that totally includes making more time in your life for fucking (if fucking’s your thing), which is a moderate form of exercise, though of course it’s not enough exercise, unless you’re some Olympics-level sex machine. But just as anti-choicers are trying to use sweets to sweeten up their anti-sex arguments, we could use sex to sweeten up our health lifestyle arguments. After all, eating right and exercising not only helps prevent diabetes and heart disease, it makes you feel better and more alive, which in turn makes you more interested in sex. Better circulation equals better erections, fellas! The healthy glow you get from taking care of your body also makes you more attractive, too. Antis can use illogical, bizzaro arguments to suggest that the best way to be a manly man is to minimize the amount of fucking in your life, but I’m afraid the pro-sex brigade is just going to win the popular vote on this one.
Oh, by the way? Anti-choicers love to flout the thoroughly discredited claim that abortion causes breast cancer. But what is true is that a healthy lifestyle can reduce your chances of getting breast cancer and increase your chances of surviving it if you do get it. One more reason to put down the cupcake and get that heart rate up through some old-fashioned humping.