Sorry I've been gone, guys - it's been a hard past couple of weeks (2L year, a breakup, that night I went out drinking with Bart Stupak and bet him that the House of Representatives would never be so stupid as to effectively ban all private insurers from voluntarily covering abortion), but I'm back.

The GOP has a woman problem. We shouldn't make too much of this, because they also have a black, Hispanic, Asian, gay, Northeastern, Jew, Arab, Muslim, West Coast and future alien visitor from another planet problem as well. But it's not so much that they have an issue with women as voters, elected officials and people as it is that they have these issues yet have managed to make them into the same sorts of considerations that would govern a candidate pulling advertising or hiring a new campaign manager. It's simply tactical to reduce the majority of the world to a festering, squalid pit of jealousy at white Christian superiority, and should be viewed as such.

Never mind any of this anyway, because the GOP does too have women, which makes all criticism of them wrong!

Wait. I’m confused. I thought the GOP was in the grip of a right-wing wacko mother from Alaska. And Maureen Dowd warned us that Liz Cheney’s sex appeal is going to mesmerize the masses and vault her and her pro-torture, pro-war views into the ascendancy. Which is it — are Republicans punishing women or elevating them? There are women running for governor and the Senate in California, but maybe that doesn’t count. It couldn’t be that the base has had it with wishy-washy Republicans who are indistinguishable from Democrats, could it? No!

Well, I'm sure that the base does hate wishy-washy Republicans, it's just that it tends to define wishy-washy Republicans as, well, women and minorities and white dudes who are probably gay or somethin'. Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are unique forms of crazy, and they come nowhere near representing the vast majority of women - and the problem is, anyone in the GOP who does come anywhere near representing the vast majority of women (or racial minorities, or...) is immediately tarred and feathered as an ACORN-loving socialist.

Even if the GOP's goal isn't to overtly reject women (which it is), by maintaining that any and all concerns out of the arch-conservative purview are heresy punishable through shunning, mockery and ungrammatical posts on Redstate, they're kind of doing it anyway. The GOP may not be sexist, sure. It's just doing every single thing a big bunch of sexists would do when they were engaging in big fun sexism for the whole family, which may lead the less savvy among us to suspect sexism might be at play. We need more nuance, people.