Hey Jesus people, let’s hear it for the child rapists!
I already posted on this, but the hits just keep on coming. You have to feel sorry for the Catholic hierarchy, apparently. They didn’t get the memo about the modern world starting to look poorly on treating children like rape objects instead of human beings, and now they’ve been blindsided by all these nutty people acting like it’s such a big deal, helping child rapists cover up their crimes and find brand new victims when they get bored with their current ones, or the parents start getting irrationally huffy. Now the NY archbishop has come forward to set the record straight:
The leader of the nation’s second-largest diocese urged his congregation to pray for the pope, saying he was suffering some of the same unjust accusations once faced by Jesus.
Apparently, the crowd thought this was the best thing ever, and applauded for 20 seconds straight. God only knows what kind of rousing success it would be if Archbishop Dolan stopped being so mealymouthed about this. Perhaps he could suggest that child rape could be added as a brand-new sacrament. Think of the possibilities! You not only don’t have to hand your priests who rape children over to the cops because you can argue that it’s religious freedom, but you can also suggest that you’re doing god’s work by moving rapist priests around from parish to parish, keeping their victim pool fresh and non-suspicious. Parents who throw a fit over their kids getting raped could be guilt-tripped about standing between priests and their salvation. You could even insinuate that Jesus liked to touch the young stuff on occasion, to keep himself pure from the more mature and therefore real sexuality.
You may think that offering such a suggestion would cause those sitting in the pews to freak out and run for the doors. But I’d offer that you’re probably wrong. They applauded for 20 seconds at the suggestion that someone who helps cover up child rape is basically like Jesus, and anyone who objects to covering up child rape is like the people who killed Jesus. They’d probably give you a 3 minute standing ovation if you stopped being mealy-mouthed about it and suggested that child rape is not only not that big a deal, but some great thing the community should openly instead of surreptitiously support.
I hate to be that cynical, but it looks from this event like there’s no amount of shit that the rabidly devout parishioners won’t swallow if their be-frocked clergy are the ones shoveling it.