Friday Genius Ten “Laugh At Me And Pat Yourselves On The Back” Edition
We asked, you answered. Because of your donations, Team Pandagon raised over $2300 for the virtual bowl-a-thon! Sadly, we couldn’t go bowling with everyone on Monday night, because I was out of town, but it’s just as well, because I hear they got a bunch of anti-choice, anti-woman protesters, and that sort of thing tries my patience. But I still promised that I would go bowling and post my score, and when I promise, I deliver. So we went to a seedy-ish bowling alley in Brooklyn last night, and here are the results of my best game. (I was going to post my worst, but Marc convinced me that was cheating, and that it’s funnier if you can laugh at the best I can do.)
I’m A at the top. I’m not going to reveal the others, which I will leave to them. But yep, I bowled a 93, and only closed one frame. And let me assure you, I only closed one all night. And this is after hours of a) playing Wii bowling and b) working out furiously at the gym to become buff like Xena. (Maybe one day.) The good news is that everyone involved in this bowled better than the President.
In a way, I sort of wish we’d gotten to see the anti-choice protesters protest a round of bowling. There’s something so perfect about that, isn’t there? The joy-killing hatefulness that fuels anti-choicers makes them a perfect fit to protest bowling. I was immediately put in mind of this song:
While the lyrics are mostly nonsense, the chorus of that song has always been a jolt of pleasure, because it contrasts the image of the skinhead—the hate-filled, joy-killing right wing nut—with the goofy joy of bowling. And the folks who bowled on Monday got to witness that contrast in front of their eyes!
Thanks for all the donations, everyone. The money you give goes directly into giving women their lives back. Sometimes the problems of the world seem overwhelming, but in something like the National Network of Abortion Funds, you can be sure that you made a difference. Someone is able to go to school because of you. Someone is able to work uninterrupted and feed her children because of you. Someone’s life isn’t going to go completely off the rails because she did something as normal and human as have a sex life. Thank you, seriously. And now for some music, below the fold!
Original song: “Take the Skinhead Bowling” by Camper Van Beethoven
1) “I Will Dare”—The Replacements
2) “Ana Ng”—They Might Be Giants
3) “A New England”—Billy Bragg
4) “Senses Working Overtime”—XTC
5) “24 Hour Party People”—The Happy Mondays
6) “Academy Fight Song”—Mission of Burma
7) “Pablo Picasso”—The Modern Lovers
8) “Don’t Want To Know If You Are Lonely”—Husker Du
9) “Lake of Fire”—The Meat Puppets
10) “Mexican Radio”—Wall of Voodoo
It’s Friday! Get off your ass and jam! Our collective response to the dour death cult of anti-choicers, who seem to think life is a duty to be slogged through and children are a punishment for sex, should be to take the time to enjoy the short time we have on this planet.