Super Short Bamboo Review, with a twist: Iron Man 2
You asked, and so I’ll answer. We saw “Iron Man 2” last night, and the universal opinion was, “Holy cow, did that suck shit-covered maggot balls.” Or something to that effect. If you can make Robert Downey bore me, then you must really suck.
Part of the problem was that even though everyone in my group went in with lowered expectations, we did take the time to watch the first movie before we went. And boy, what a gap! The first sparkled with wit, and even made sense! It had clever little satirical jabs at the military-industrial complex. “Iron Man 2”, on the other hand, had stupid jokes and seemed to back the idea that a privatized military would be preferable to one under the control of douchey politicians. (Even though Tony Stark gets drunk and runs the risk of killing people by goofing off in his suit.) The romance was tacked on, the acting was mostly tedious, and did I mention the jokes weren’t funny? The only thing that woke the audience up was Scarlet Johansson kicking ass for a short (and genuinely funny) scene, and that was about it. Robert Downey Jr. did his best, but there just wasn’t anything to work with. It was a muddled, stupid mess.
But one good thing came out of it. Our pre-movie movie-watching was hosted by Darcy James Argue, who mixes fancy cocktails with the best of them. To honor the occasion, I decided to make an Iron Man mixtape, on the grounds that pop music has a lot to say about the major themes of Iron Man: drinking, being rich, being all science-y and smart, and the military-industrial complex. So check out the song list:
1) “Iron Man” by Stereolab
2) “The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism” by The New Pornographers
3) “Atomic Dog” by George Clinton (honoring both the atomic age goofiness of Iron Man, and Tony Stark’s doggy ways)
4) “Don’t Come Home A-Drinking” by Loretta Lynn
5) “He’s Got The Power” by The Exciters
6) “Wargasm” by L7
7) “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” by the Notorious B.I.G.
8) “Summer Wine” by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood
9) “Billionaire” by Peaches
10) “Ohio” by Devo (cover of the protest song by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
11) “Baptize Me In Wine” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
12) “The Sounds of Science” by the Beastie Boys
13) “Money” by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
14) “Chemical Warfare” by The Dead Kennedys
15) “Genius of Love” by The Tom Tom Club
16) “Robot Rock” by Daft Punk (which is the only song I heard pop up in the movie)
17) “Free Money” by Patti Smith
Videos below the fold. What songs would you put on an Iron Man mix?