President Barack Obama has been wondering “whose ass to kick” over a BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Monday BP CEO Tony Hayward became the clear target as Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert showed whose butt to kick and exactly how to do it.
BP succeeded in placing a cap over the well Friday and Admiral Thad Allen told reporters that they hoped to capture oil at a rate of 20,000 barrels per day by Tuesday. But one scientist pointed out Monday that even the oil company’s worst estimate put the flow at 100,000 barrels per day.
Colbert noted that the cap seemed to have little effect on the leak as ROV video shows the oil continuing to spew. “Note to self: don’t buy condoms at a BP station,” Colbert joked.
The president has been criticized for his cool demeanor during the crisis. Even supporters like Spike Lee say the president should get angry. “He’s very, as I’ve seen, calm, cool, collected, but one time, go off. And if there’s any one time to go off, this is it because this is a disaster,” Lee told CNN’s Anderson Cooper.
Obama even appeared calm as he told CNN’s Larry King, “I am furious at this entire situation.”
“You know you’re not showing enough emotion when you make Larry King look lively,” said Colbert.
Fox News’ Gretchen Carlson went as far as to criticize the clothes Obama was wearing when he visited the Gulf. “He had on fancy pants and a fancy shirt,” said Carlson.
Getting angry himself, Colbert ripped the sleeves from his shirt to show the president how it’s done.
“Now you appear ready to kick a little arse. Please welcome British Petroleum’s CEO Tony Hayward,” announced Colbert. A man vaguely resembling Hayward appeared on Colbert’s set to loud boos from the crowd.
“Hello, I am Tony Hayward. No one would like this over with more than I would. I want my life back,” said the fake Hayward.
“On behalf of the American people just let me say,” Colbert said as he kicked Hayward in the groin.
“How do you feel about this environmental disaster?” asked Colbert.
“We’re very pleased about the amount of oil we’ve collected,” answered Hayward.
“Wrong answer,” Colbert exclaimed as he delivered a punch to the gut and tossed the oil executive down a flight of stairs
What followed was a thorough beating of the BP CEO ending with Hayward being thrown off a roof and a sea turtle repeatedly driving an SUV over his broken body.
“All right, Mr. President, like that,” instructed Colbert. “But don’t go over the top. You still need to seem presidential.”
This video is from Comedy Central’s Colbert Nation, broadcast June 7, 2010.