Farsi tattoos and pretend Mexican terrorists, oh my!
I don’t know what part of Rep. Sue Myrick’s paranoid ramblings about terrorism and immigration I think is more amazing—that she thinks Iranian terrorists are flooding our country pretending to be Mexican nationals or that she thinks she’s heard about some alarming rise in Farsi tattoos in our prisons. While she appears to think this is all one continuous, flowing argument, in reality her entirely separate claims seem to have no relationship to each other, much less reality.
Right wingers really do think life is a bad action movie, don’t they?
If there was some vast Iranian terrorist conspiracy to sneak in to the U.S., I fail exactly to see how or why they’d say, “Hey, some dumb cops will think we’re Mexicans, let’s go with that!” There are many problems with this strategy that anyone brighter than a right winger who thinks they live in a made-for-cable action movie would see:
1) It assumes that it’s really so easy to pass, an assumption that is based in Myrick’s belief that everyone else—especially the cops—is as stupid and racism-poisoned as she is.
2) It assumes that Iranians are somehow not allowed to come into the U.S. and move about freely, and therefore need some kind of disguise.
3) It assumes that Mexican immigrants, documentation status aside, don’t get hassled by the cops.
All of these assumptions are roughly the stupidest things I’ve ever heard, and here they are bundled into one argument! I think #2 might be my favorite assumption, because while all the other assumptions indicate that someone lives in a cave where their only contact with the outside world is Fox News, even Fox News doesn’t go to great pains to hide that we allow people to immigrate here from all over the world, including Iran. At the risk of drawing racist hatred towards an innocent group of people that many right winger apparently were unaware existed, I have to say that I think that if there were Iranian nationalists coming here with the intent on causing trouble, the best disguise for them would probably be “Iranian immigrant”. I’m no expert in espionage, but I really do think that a no-frills approach is the best way not to draw attention to yourself.
Of course, in Myrick’s world, not only is there supposedly a huge group of Iranian “terrorists” sneaking in to the country, but they abhor keeping a low profile in their disguises as immigrants from Mexico. (God, I just laugh typing it.) Instead, they commit a bunch of unrelated-to-terrorism crimes, get treated like ordinary criminals, get thrown in jail, and, as part of their brilliant disguises, get tattoos in Farsi. Which we’re made to assume that the cops are the ones reporting that they’re seeing way more Farsi tattoos than Arabic ones, and this is somehow evidence of this. Even though these are supposedly the same cops who can’t tell that the Iranian guy passing himself off as a Mexican immigrant may not be who he’s claiming.
The punchline to this joke is that people actually voted this woman into office.