Andrew Klavan has investigated Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, and come to the inevitable conclusion: it's all women's fault.


I blame women.  No, really.  Women — by which I mean each and every single member of the female gender — you know who you are — need look no further than themselves to explain why Weiner-types behave toward them in this fashion.   We men are always hearing complaints from women about how badly we treat them, what pigs we are, how pushy and abrasive…  on and on.  But what these same women conveniently fail to mention is that this stuff really works on them!

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So, then, ladies — what do you expect?  All we guys want is for you to love us.  If this is the sort of guy you follow after in droves, this is the sort of guy we’re encouraged to be. 

Everyone I know has dated assholes.  It's because assholes know how to manipulate people.  Now, I'm pretty sure that DSK raping women doesn't exactly count as women "falling for" something, unless it's the seemingly reasonable belief that they won't be raped.  

When you look at Klavan's other exhibits, though, it's obvious what must happen: the more than three billion women on Earth should start some sort of network wherein unapproved men are shunned, and only middle-aged writers for Pajamas Media are allowed to come into the womanly fold.

Ha, I said "womanly fold".  I'm awesome.

But you all need to understand the eminently reasonable threshold here: all women (like all minorities everywhere) are responsible for the actions of every other woman on the face of the planet, so that if anyone reciprocally flirts with world-famous movie actors or prominent politicians, you're basically boning them as you speak.  Sorry for the late notice, but I figured you'd want to know that you're responsible for adultery and rape by people you've never met and whom you might actually find revolting.  So, uh, stop it.