I travel a fair bit, too, and have noticed there being a strong correlation between getting the "friendly" TSA search notification and the presence of modern lady conveniences of the more fun sort. Which always sucks, because then you have to call the front desk to have a bottle of rubbing alcohol sent up to ease some of your more paranoid concerns. With this in mind, I've concocted a strategy of making sure that someone isn't fondling your sex toys out of your sight just because you have the nerve to remain orgasm-interested while traveling.
1) Don't check bags. I used to scoff at this advice as inadequate for my shit-carrying needs, but since then I've learned the rolling method of packing, which is truly life-changing. I just got back from a week-long trip and I went all carry-on, and I had about twice as many clothes as I ended up using.
Granted, the concern here is that the TSA agent will flag your carry-on right in front of everyone. This, I believe, is a preferable situation to having them go through your shit behind your back. Having seen a friend have a bag flagged for dildo-related materials in the checkpoint, I can safely say that it's not as bad as you'd think. The woman searching said friend's bag blushed to her toes and let us go on our way with no further fussing, nor touching of the item. No concerns about gross perverts doing gross things to your stuff.
2) Disguise it. A lot of people have wondered why there are so many vibrators shaped like things you wouldn't think would be appealing as vibrators. A sampling:
Well, now you know. So nosy people think it's a toy of the non-adult sort and move on. As a TSA-dodging strategy, this one works surprisingly well.
Of course, that makes you wonder why it's less shocking for a grown woman to be traveling with what looks like children's bath toys than with sex toys, but thus is the way of our fucked-up country.