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Colbert to CNN and Fox: ‘You suck at news’

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On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took cable news networks to task for jumping the gun and mistakenly announcing that the Supreme Court had struck down the bulk of the Affordable Care Act.

On Thursday morning, as the world looked on, both CNN and Fox News announced exactly the wrong news when they reported the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Affordable Care Act, President Obama’s signature piece of domestic legislation. When copies of the decision were handed out and Justice Roberts began to read the opinion, two of the biggest news organizations on the planet scrambled to announce the result, and in the process, got it wrong.

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Colbert played clips of Fox News’s Bill Hemmer, CNN’s Kate Bolduan and Fox Business Channel’s tory wonderboy Stuart Varney breathlessly reporting that the court had overturned the individual mandate, the centerpiece of the legislation.

“The individual mandate has been struck down,” Fox Business anchor Stuart Varney portentously intoned, “The individual mandate has. Been. Struck. Down.”

“No. It. Has. Not,” Colbert shot back, “You. Suck. At. News.”

“Evidently, folks,” he said, “and I didn’t know this, evidently, there’s more to a Supreme Court ruling than the first page!”

Then he played clips of all the same people having to walk back the news they’d broken not ten minutes before. The camera cut back to a frozen-faced, flabbergasted Colbert. He threw a glass of water into his own face, pulled out a toaster and stuck a fork in it, then leaned over while a third arm appeared from under the desk and slapped him.

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Then the host showed the audience what would happen if we took a similar approach to some great works of literature.

Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below:

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2020 Election

Lincoln Project whacks the president: ‘We end COVID when we end Trump’s presidency’

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President Donald Trump on Thursday held a campaign rally in Wisconsin with supporters "packed in like sardines."

At the rally, Trump ridiculed former Vice President Joe Biden for social distancing at campaign appearances with America's death toll over 200,000. Also on Thursday, Biden held a town hall meeting on CNN where he spoke in-depth about the challenges of a coronavirus vaccine.

The Lincoln Project, the group of former top GOP strategists working to defeat Trump, said that "only one candidate will protect your family from coronavirus" in a new video.

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2020 Election

Trump mocked for 95-minute ‘slurring’ campaign speech — before crowd ‘packed in like sardines’ in Wisconsin

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President Donald Trump gave a fear-filled and factually inaccurate campaign rally in Mosinee, Wisconsin on Thursday.

The rally, held in spite of the COVID-19 pandemic, featured a large crowd closely packed together.

Here's some of what people were saying about Trump's speech, which lasted approximately 95 minutes:

https://twitter.com/RSBNetwork/status/1306433275381116928

https://twitter.com/bad_takes/status/1306758848577966081

Trump is slurring and sounds tired pic.twitter.com/6MJLw2fpms

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2020 Election

Trump: A Biden presidency would mean ‘no guns, no religion, no energy, no oil’

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At President Donald Trump's rally on Thursday night in Mosinee, Wisconsin, he offered his supporters a dire — and baseless — warning about what a Joe Biden presidency would mean for America, and for their lives.

"Remember this in politics — it's always the thing that they say first. That's what they're going to do," said Trump. "No guns, no religion, no energy, no oil. Remember that, remember."

Contrary to Trump's claim, Biden has not called for eliminating any of those four things in his campaign, or indeed at any point of his career in politics.

Watch below:

wut pic.twitter.com/CfrGD5215o

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