On Wednesday night's edition of "The Daily Show," host Jon Stewart discussed the difficulty President Barack Obama faces in raising money the old-fashioned way (i.e., local fundraisers and small donors) when faced with the brave new world of post-Citizens United dark money funding.
Republican candidate Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) has been able to rack up impressive fund-raising numbers by taking advantage of new rules that lift traditional restrictions on individual donors, allowing wealthy donors to make huge donations to super PACs, all without disclosing their names or the amounts they've donated. Former Newt Gingrich backer, casino baron billionaire Sheldon Adelson has donated millions to the super PAC supporting Mitt Romney, for example.
Which brings us to the topic of this segment, in which Stewart informs the president that he's going to have to learn to get creative on making money and monetize the presidency.
"Mr. President, you're screwed," said Stewart, "No amount of Upper West Side coffee klatches is going to add up to a couple of billionaires on a mission."
Instead, perhaps President Obama should consider adding a large Coca-Cola glass to the podium when he does his next State of the Union speech. "My fellow Americans," he intoned, "the next State of the Union will be...surprisingly refreshing!"
Other options include Photoshopping logos into the infamous bin Laden raid command center photo, as well as "Barack Rock," a collection of the two snippets of singing Obama has done in public this year, a snatch of Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" and the blues standard, "Sweet Home Chicago."
Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below: