On Friday night’s edition of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher asked Mitt Romney to do him a small favor and not choose his running-mate until after August 17, when “Real Time” returns from its summer hiatus.
“And furthermore, he must take my advice on who to pick,” he said, because secretly he wants Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) to win the presidency. Romney is, all politics aside, an “ultra-caucasian Mormon zillionaire who uses his dog as a hood ornament,” and a treasure trove of gaffes, awkward moments and disastrous off-the-cuff remarks. For a comedian to bet against Romney, Maher said, is like Halliburton betting against wars.
The current vice presidential options, as Maher sees them, are a little bleak. There’s Florida’s Senator Marco Rubio (R) “who you may recognize as the brother of the bride in every wedding you’ve ever been to.” There’s “naugahyde bean-bag chair,” New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R) and Wisconsin Congressional Rep. Paul Ryan (R), who’s a “heartless, smirking bastard,” a demographic that Romney pretty much already has sewn up. And then of course there’s ex-Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty (R), who is so dull he might actually make Romney look interesting.
Now, to Maher’s thinking, the only man for the job is George Zimmerman, Jr., the erstwhile neighborhood watch captain who shot and killed teenager Trayvon Martin earlier this year.
“Who better than George Zimmerman,” he asked Romney, “to personify your campaign theme of ‘I think the black guy’s up to no good’?”
Of course, if Romney wants a real game changer, someone who’s nothing like him, Maher said that he should get the nod from Romney. “It’ll be like a buddy movie,” he said, “where you’re the uptight square and I’m Chris Tucker.”
Watch the clip, embedded via Mediaite, below: