Thursday night on Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert lamented the arrest of actor Fred Willard for "lewd conduct" in an X-rated movie theater. Police arrested the "Best in Show" and "A Mighty Wind" actor for allegedly masturbating in public while watching a pornographic film.

Colbert had two points he wanted to address on this issue.

First, to the Los Angeles Police Department, he asked what they thought they were going to find at the Tiki Theater, "Roger Ebert reviewing 'Toll Booth Sluts 4?'" Not likely.

The Tiki audience, said Colbert, "is gentlemen who still appreciate seeing movies on The Big Silver, giving each one their own private 'thumbs-up.'" The police know what's happening there, so they either need to shut the place down or leave the poor masturbating perverts alone.

Second, to Fred Willard, he said, "It's called The Internet," meaning that there are better, more private places to masturbate to porn. "It's complicated," said Colbert, "Ask your grandchildren. But don't tell them why."

Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below:

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