Quantcast
Connect with us

Obama campaign ‘retroactively apologizes’ to Mitt Romney

Published

on

The campaign to re-elect President Barack Obama, in conjunction with Andy Cobb and Second City Television, has produced a new 90-second web ad that offers presumptive Republican nominee and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney the apology he demanded last week when Obama staffers ripped him for being dishonest about when he left the venture capital group Bain Capital.

ADVERTISEMENT

Obama spokesperson Stephanie Cutter, who starred in the campaign’s previous collaboration with Second City, implied recently that Romney’s failure to come clean about the ties he still had to Bain after he left in February of 1999 make him either a liar or a felon, given that in his FEC filings, he claimed to no longer have any connection to the company.

When the Boston Globe found documents that say Romney still had ties with the company, Romney surrogate Ed Gillespie hilariously claimed that his boss had “retroactively retired” from Bain.

“In the spirit of the Romney campaign,” said Cutter in the new ad, “I’d like to announce that I have retroactively retired from the Obama campaign, and retroactively apologized, years ago, for those statements that I hadn’t yet made because I’m just that sorry.”

She went on to say that since she’s retired from the campaign, she would speak from her heart.

“Dear Mitt, Sleep well tonight,” she said, because lord knows, she wouldn’t want him laying awake all night hearing her saying, “Bain…Bain…BAIN!” in his head.

ADVERTISEMENT

“You made a lot of money off that stuff, Mitt,” she said, “You should get it made into pillows to help you sleep when you keep thinking HOW YOU DON’T GET TO BE PRESIDENT, A-HOLE!”

Then she tore off her outfit to reveal a lady wrestler costume. “Get in the ring, Romney!” she barked, “Sunday morning, ‘Meet the Press,’ ‘Face the Nation,’ the parking-lot behind the 7-11! Stephanie Cutter apologizes like her ass chews gum!”

She says she’s back in the campaign, “And I’m ready to do ninja shit to you!”

ADVERTISEMENT

Watch the clip, embedded via YouTube, below:


Report typos and corrections to: [email protected].
READ COMMENTS - JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Continue Reading

2020 Election

Trump Jr ripped for ‘hypocrisy’ and ‘stupidity’ as group releases new #ByeDonJr ad

Published

on

Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

Tucker Carlson announces ‘long-planned’ vacation following his top writer’s resignation for racism

Published

on

Minutes after Fox News was called out on MSNBC, the embattled host of The Tucker Carlson Show announced that he would be going on a "long-planned" vacation.

The announcement came after Blake Neff, the show's top writer, was exposed for his history of racist, homophobic and misogynistic social media posts.

Continue Reading
 

CNN

‘I told you this would happen’: CNN’s Cuomo tears into Trump for trying to ruin Dr Fauci

Published

on

On Monday, CNN's Chris Cuomo slammed President Donald Trump for his latest attacks on Dr. Anthony Fauci.

"Fauci is not to blame for any of this. Trump is, period," said Cuomo. "And now that the reality is sinking in to blue and red, to left, right, and reasonable, Trump is doing what he always does: trying to shift blame to someone else. And we must reject efforts to shift stink onto the one man we can trust."

"Now, in these White House attacks, we see their principles on display as well, don't we?" said Cuomo. "Eat your own, lie about Fauci, deny your role, and defy the mandate of leadership that we gave you. And how about using an unnamed official to smear the only credible voice they have on this voice. Where are the worries about anonymous sources now, Mr. President? This is making America great again? You pardon a convicted liar and lie about a man with a conviction to fight a pandemic, which you apparently lack."

Continue Reading
 
 
You need honest news coverage. Help us deliver it. Join Raw Story Investigates for $1. Go ad-free.
close-image