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Obama campaign ‘retroactively apologizes’ to Mitt Romney

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The campaign to re-elect President Barack Obama, in conjunction with Andy Cobb and Second City Television, has produced a new 90-second web ad that offers presumptive Republican nominee and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney the apology he demanded last week when Obama staffers ripped him for being dishonest about when he left the venture capital group Bain Capital.

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Obama spokesperson Stephanie Cutter, who starred in the campaign’s previous collaboration with Second City, implied recently that Romney’s failure to come clean about the ties he still had to Bain after he left in February of 1999 make him either a liar or a felon, given that in his FEC filings, he claimed to no longer have any connection to the company.

When the Boston Globe found documents that say Romney still had ties with the company, Romney surrogate Ed Gillespie hilariously claimed that his boss had “retroactively retired” from Bain.

“In the spirit of the Romney campaign,” said Cutter in the new ad, “I’d like to announce that I have retroactively retired from the Obama campaign, and retroactively apologized, years ago, for those statements that I hadn’t yet made because I’m just that sorry.”

She went on to say that since she’s retired from the campaign, she would speak from her heart.

“Dear Mitt, Sleep well tonight,” she said, because lord knows, she wouldn’t want him laying awake all night hearing her saying, “Bain…Bain…BAIN!” in his head.

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“You made a lot of money off that stuff, Mitt,” she said, “You should get it made into pillows to help you sleep when you keep thinking HOW YOU DON’T GET TO BE PRESIDENT, A-HOLE!”

Then she tore off her outfit to reveal a lady wrestler costume. “Get in the ring, Romney!” she barked, “Sunday morning, ‘Meet the Press,’ ‘Face the Nation,’ the parking-lot behind the 7-11! Stephanie Cutter apologizes like her ass chews gum!”

She says she’s back in the campaign, “And I’m ready to do ninja shit to you!”

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Watch the clip, embedded via YouTube, below:


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Former House lawyer explains new recording from Trump would add another ‘abuse of power’ to impeachment

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A recording was revealed Friday of President Donald Trump demanding that his staff "take out" former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch. Former House committee lawyer Jeremy Bash, told MSNBC that it would constitute another "abuse of power" charge.

"I think it would be another important branch and sequel to the abuse of power allegation if the president used the office, used his own authority to direct that a U.S. ambassador be either removed from that position because she was standing in the way of his political agenda -- but it seems like, from the recording, possibly even that physical harm or threats to her should ensue," said Bash.

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Trump’s spiritual guru claims prayer ‘statistically proven’ to reduce crime

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Prosperity gospel evangelist Paula White, who has long served as President Donald Trump's spiritual adviser, credits a statistical drop in crime with increased Christian prayer.

Right Wing Watch reports that White earlier this month delivered a sermon in which she said it was "statistically proven" that crime dropped after the September 11th terrorist attacks because Christians started praying more frequently.

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GOP senator blows off new evidence against Trump — days after whining that there was no new evidence

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An explosive report from ABC News on Friday morning detailed an audio recording purportedly of President Donald Trump demanding the firing of Marie Yovanovitch, in which the president instructs his henchmen to "get rid of her" and "take her out."

Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY), when asked by reporters about this new evidence Friday afternoon, blew it off as not a big deal.

"There will be new evidence every day!" he said in shrugging off the purported recording of the president. "There will be something new that comes out every day!"

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