Today is the 4th of July: A time for unbridled displays of national pride, mass consumption of cheaply processed meat products and, of course, buckets full of dangerous Chinese fireworks.
And also singing, for some reason.
And if there's one thing Americans are well known for loving, it's watching someone completely fail at performing a well-known song. With no further ado, Raw Story presents the top five worst celebrity renditions of the National Anthem, in order of best to worst.
#5: Leslie Nielsen, appearing in The Naked Gun
Sadly, this is the best of the bunch, mostly because it was intentional. And hilarious. Mr. Nielsen, you are missed.
#4: Hillary Clinton, not realizing her mic was on
Throughout her political career, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has consistently exhibited grace under rhetorical fire. But "grace" probably wouldn't be the right word to describe her accidental performance at a 2008 campaign stop in Iowa.
#3: Christina Aguilera ruins the intro to Super Bowl XLV
It's not too often that a multi-million selling artist actually issues a public apology for a widely televised performance. In other words: Seek shelter, earmuff the kids and batten down the hatches. This one's gonna hurt.
#2: Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis turns ESPN anchors into incomprehensible, laughing boobs
In sports reporting, there's hardly ever a dull moment, but comedy segments are few and far between. Perhaps, then, Americans should thank Carl Lewis, who turned two of ESPN's veteran anchors into sputtering, incomprehensible, laughing boobs with one of the worst renditions of the National Anthem ever. (Still, not not as bad as #1.)
#1: Roseanne Barr, probably making fun of your patriotism
By virtually all accounts, no performance of the National Anthem has ever gone so wrong. The San Diego Padres later apologized for asking her to come sing, although Roseanne was adamant that she "did great" and that "people wanted more." But, er, we'll let your ears be the judge of that... Just put the pets outside first, or you may never forgive us.
(Extra credit: Here's a very young Keith Olbermann reacting to Roseanne's performance in, well, typical Olbermann style. Nice glasses, Keith!)