Monday night on "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert asserted that commercialism is ruining the most important retail sales day of the year, Black Friday.

The host began his first show back from the Thanksgiving break by explaining that he's been catching up on the Showtime program, "Homeland." After quickly filling viewers in that the story is an extremely complex, multilayered psychological thrill-ride in which a bipolar CIA agent is engaged in an on-again/off-again affair with an Iraq War veteran who may or may not be an al-Qaeda sleeper agent, Colbert said, "Here's what I can't figure out. When do they charge their cell phones?"

But of course the real reason for the holiday, he said, is the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday. "It's when Americans come together to honor their Lord, the Walmart rollback guy," said Colbert. "Jesus isn't the only one who saves!"

The only blot on the speckless horizon of his weekend, he said, was that worry that Black Friday is being ruined by commercialism.

"Nowadays it's all about how much you're going to buy, what deal you're going to get. Whatever happened to trampling people for the love of the game?" he asked. "Or just experiencing the pure childlike joy of throat-punching an old lady over that last $20 Dirt Devil? Well, I guess I'm old-fashioned."

Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below:

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