On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert said a final farewell to trusted friend and adviser Ham Rove. The host went on to establish a memorial fund in memory of Ham, so that a little bit of his porky goodness may live on forever.
“Before we say goodbye to 2012,” Colbert said, “I want to take a moment here to bid a fond farewell to someone we lost this year, Ham Rove. Ham was chief strategist and principal lunch meat for the Colbert super PAC. Then, last month, tragedy struck when he fell repeatedly on to a knife that I was holding.”
“I can’t tell you how much Ham meant to me,” he said, “Well, technically I could, but it’s a super PAC, so legally, I don’t have to.”
Just like he doesn’t have to tell anyone where the $773,704.83 that the PAC raised went.
“I just hope and pray they’re both in a better place now,” he said.
But that brought us, Colbert said, to the letter that he sent to himself regarding the Ham Rove memorial fund, “Apparently, I’m on the board.”
The purpose of the fund is to honor the memory of Ham Rove in the form of charitable gifts. Recently, the fund received an anonymous donation of $773,704.83.
Where did the anonymous donation come from? Colbert said, “It says it’s from ‘P.O. Box Bite Me.'”
As a board member, Colbert maintained that he wanted to donate that money to UNICEF, which the other board members balked out when they found out that UNICEF is the name of his yacht.
“Keep collecting those pennies kids!” he quipped.
In fact, Colbert announced that he will be donating $125,000 each to three organizations dedicated to relief for victims of Hurricane Sandy. The Ham Rove Memorial Foundation will also be donating to the Yellow Ribbon Fund, which is dedicated to service members and their families, and two groups dedicated to government transparency.
Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below: