Colbert: Science says old people are more gullible, which explains Fox News
Tuesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert looked into afflictions suffered by aging Americans including increased inability to determine when someone is untrustworthy, “Low-T” (low testosterone) and what Colbert calls “Low-O” (low female orgasm).
Older people, Colbert began, are less able to trust their gut instincts, according to a report from Fox News. As they age, many people lose their ability to discern whether someone is lying to them or is trying scam them. They become more trusting.
“Who’d have thought that elderly Fox News viewers would be more susceptible to misinformation?” asked Colbert.
He went on to discuss “Low-T” syndrome, the gradual decreasing of levels of the sex hormone testosterone in men’s blood. Typically “Low-T” manifests in the form of decreased sex drive, weight gain, depression and loss of muscle tone. Some men have been treating it with a topical 1 percent testosterone gel.
“Or as I like to call it,” he said, “‘Man-Milk, skim.'”
Now the testosterone supplement AndroGel comes in a 1.62 percent concentration, news that Colbert greeted with enthusiasm.
“What an incredible breakthrough!” he enthused. “I don’t know how it works or what it does, but now I can use less of it.”
He continued, “The best news is that this highly concentrated male hormone doesn’t have one side effect. It has dozens of them.”
He then rolled footage of an AndroGel commercial, that listed side effects of AndroGel as increased prostate swelling, prostate cancer, low sperm count and swelling of the ankles, feet and body. Also, patients are urged to contact a doctor if signs of early puberty appear in the children in your life. But otherwise, the stuff is totally safe.
However, he said, “Men aren’t the only ones who need help in the ‘hormone zone.'” Some women, according to the American Psychiatric Association, “11 to 41 percent of women worldwide” suffer from a condition called “Female Orgasmic Disorder.”
“You hear that right,” said Colbert. “It’s somewhere between 11 and 41 percent, so it’s either very rare…or completely normal.”
Fortunately, Big Pharma has an answer for that, too. A nose spray that should be used two hours prior to sex, and is good for six hours.
“Which unfortunately,” he said, “men are not. Which means, a few minutes of intimacy followed by several hours of highly erotic scrapbooking.”
Watch the clip, embedded below via Comedy Central: