For those of you who aren't regular viewers of The Sportsman Channel, video excerpts from Monday's debut of Ted Nugent's reality show "Wanted: Ted or Alive" were finally published online Tuesday evening courtesy of the progressive watchdog group Media Matters.


It turns out the National Rifle Association board member and longtime southern rocker's ideas for televised entertainment are just about as strange as you might have imagined.

The rules of the show appear to be an odd mix of "Survivor" and "Fear Factor," with a little bit of "Animal Planet" thrown in for good measure. At one point Ted actually chases contestants around a field in some sort of modified golf cart, shooting them repeatedly at close range with a paintball gun as he brags about all his expert warrior training with every federal agency he could list.

When a female contestant won what appeared to be an American flag relay race of some kind, Nugent remarked: "She's a humper!" and "The she-beast beat the he-beast. How cool is that?" He followed those classy lines up with, "Nice work, wild thing. Nice humpage," and insulted a male contestant who placed second behind "wang dang sweet fucking thang."

It got even weirder when he forced everyone to watch him smash a live chicken's head on a rock and slice it open on camera. "It's almost like being a mother and refusing to change your child's diapers because it stinks," he said. "This is so good. This is so good for you... I want you to see the beauty of this."

Nugent apparently signed with The Sportsman Channel after his show "Ted Nugent's Gun Country" was canceled and The Discovery Channel said they refused to work with him anymore.

These videos are from "Wanted: Ted or Alive," published online Tuesday, March 5, 2013.