Look, we totally get it. Some people don't think news sites doing April Fools' jokes are funny. And there are a hundred arguments involving the sacred unstated contract with serious readers why to not do them.


But, some times when you spend weeks on end documenting everything from racism to misogyny to gun violence to war for hours a day working for a news site, every day, there's something very appealing about giving whimsy and silliness free rein for a day.

We didn't. But we thought about it. Here's the ideas we rejected in favor of staying serious.

1. Relabeling ourselves the "RAWR Story" and using cat pictures for every illustration on the home page.

2. All the news about the editors' pets (last count: 4 cats, one dog, two goats) and nothing but news about the editors' pets.

3. In which we pretend that peace on Earth actually happened overnight and we documented how awesome it supposedly is that humans have stopped killing, raping, maiming, assaulting, and generally being dicks to one another. (This one was too depressing, actually.)

4. Announcing our acquisition by NewsMax, the Obama Administration or a coalition of truthers dedicating to finally exposing the truth of 9/11.

5. Lots of stories about how Ron Paul will never be elected to higher office. Oh.

["Colourpoint Cat With Pink Ball Of Yarn" on Shutterstock]