Thursday night on "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert criticized President Barack Obama and the FBI for reading Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev his Miranda rights. The government should have taken a different tack, he said, and read Tsarnaev his "Samantha rights."
"Tonight I am in a great mood because I'm furious," Colbert said. It has been a week since Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was taken into custody.
"The FBI and the Boston Police did a heroic job capturing the Chechen terrorist after he tried to escape on a landlocked boat," the host continued. "But now our secret Chechen president has screwed the whole thing up."
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev confessed to the FBI his role in the bombings, but before he was read his Miranda rights, after which he has stopped cooperating. None of his testimony prior to being Mirandized can be used in court under U.S. law.
"No!" Colbert protested. "Why did we read him his Miranda rights?"
Colbert said that Tsarnaev should have been read his "Samantha rights," flashing a photo of the character Samantha Jones from "Sex and the City."
Samantha rights, said Colbert, are "where you seat him at a brunch table, give him three Cosmos and girlfriend, he starts to dish."
Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below: