The Daily Show host Jon Stewart took Congress to task on Monday night for funding air traffic controllers because they were personally affected by flight delays.
"We all know that if you look up Congress in the dictionary it says, 'Do-nothing fucktards who couldn't solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first,' he said. "
Congress failed to avert across-the-board budget cuts known as the sequester earlier this year. The indiscriminate cuts have wrought havoc on a number of federal programs, particularly those that provide aid to the poor and needy.
But faced with having to personally experience flight delays at airports because of the cuts, Congress moved fast to remedy the problem.
"Congress doesn't care about meals-on-wheels unless it is rolling down an aisle," Stewart joked.
He noted legislators were not even embarrassed to have so plainly acted in their own self-interest. In fact, they congratulated themselves, leading Stewart to coin the new term, "congratsturbating."
The Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi dug deeper into the alleged effects of the sequestration, which has been described by various conservative pundits as a fake crisis with no real negative impacts. He discovered the hilarious budget cut "joke" was having severe impacts on soap kitchens and cancer treatment centers.
Watch video, via Comedy Central, below: