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Judge denies ‘erection’ for customers but hopes for ‘happy ending’ in stripper case

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A federal judge with a sense of humor on Monday ruled that exotic dancers in San Antonio would have to wear bikini tops, but acknowledged that customers were seeking “an erection” of a constitutional wall with First Amendment protections and hoped that the parties could resolve their differences for a “happy ending.”

The San Antonio Express-News on Monday reported that Chief U.S. District Judge Fred Biery had denied a preliminary injunction sought by strip clubs in the case of the “itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini top vs. the (more) itsy bitsy teeny weeny pastie.”

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The clubs filed a lawsuit earlier this year in opposition to a recently-amended city ordinance that forces dancers to wear larger coverings on their breasts or be treated as sexually oriented businesses (SOBs), which would face greater regulation. SOBs can’t operate near schools, churches or parks; employees would have to undergo background checks and the clubs would have to apply for new licenses.

“The court infers plaintiffs fear enforcement of the ordinance would strip them of their profits, affecting their bottom line,” Biery said in his ruling. “Conversely, the city asserts these businesses contribute to reduced property values, violent crime, increased drug sales, prostitution and other sex crimes and therefore need to be girdled more tightly.”

“Plaintiffs, and by extension their customers, seek an erection of a constitutional wall separating themselves from the regulatory power of city government.”

The judge said that he cold find no link between small nipple coverings — or pasties — and increased crime, but case law did not require a connection between “nudity and naughtiness” in order to regulate entertainers.

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“Should the parties choose to string this case out to trial on the merits, the court encourages reasonable discovery to intercourse as they navigate the peaks and valleys of litigation, perhaps to a happy ending,” Biery concluded.

(h/t: Shutterstock.com)

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Intel Committee has ‘recent evidence’ Ukraine witnesses are working together to ‘coordinate’ their stories

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House investigators have "recent evidence" of witnesses working to coordinate their testimony before Congress, a Democratic congressman revealed on MSNBC on Wednesday.

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), who sits on the Intelligence and Judicial committees, was interviewed by MSNBC Chris Hayes.

"Final question, what is the timeline here?" Hayes asked. "There is some transparency argument that at some point this can’t be behind closed doors, the American people, all of us, Republicans, Democrats, citizens and journalists have to hear what’s happening."

"You’re absolutely right and there will be a public phase," Swalwell replied.

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Rudy Giuliani is looking for a lawyer — after saying he didn’t need one: report

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On Wednesday, CNN reported that President Donald Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani is looking for a defense attorney to represent him.

This report comes after Giuliani said last week that he would not seek legal representation unless he believed he needed it.

Giuliani is currently under criminal investigation for the scheme he apparently helped facilitate in the Ukraine, where Trump withheld military aid in the fight against Russia while demanding their leaders investigate former Vice President Joe Biden and the Democratic National Committee.

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Ex-acting AG Matt Whitaker blasted as ‘an embarrassment’: Ex-prosecutor says ‘the guy’s an idiot’

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Former federal prosecutor Cynthia Alksne blasted for acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker during a Wednesday appearance on MSNBC.

Anchor Chris Matthews played a clip of Whitaker telling Fox News that abuse of power is not a crime. The statement was viewed as an acknowledgment that Trump had abused power.

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