"Real Time with Bill Maher" host Bill Maher appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" Tuesday night, where he proceded to tear into some of his favorite topics, including religion, religious holidays like Easter, the Pope and marriage equality.
"Are you excited about the new Pope?" Kimmel asked.
"I love the new Pope," replied Maher. One of the things he said that he loves most about the new Pope is his name, Jorge Bergoglio, which the comic said sounds "like a pair of really expensive shoes."
"Everywhere I go, I tell people," he said, pointing to his shoes, "'These are Jorge Bergoglio! These are like $1,200.'"
Many people of faith don't realize, Maher said, that the traditions surrounding the appointment of a new Pope are relatively new to the church and don't actually come "straight from Jesus and the Bible."
"Not that the Bible isn't a bunch of insane, bronze age malarkey," said Maher, then raised an eyebrow at the beat of silence that followed from the audience. "Come on, I know there are people who are with me on this!" he said. "Don't give me that look."
In the second segment of the interview, Kimmel asked Maher if he's afraid that, as Georgia Republican Party Chairperson Sue Everhart warned, straight people will pretend to be gay or lesbian so they can get health insurance and other benefits allowed to heterosexual married couples.
"That is the weirdest story," Maher countered.
"It just shows you how bankrupt all these arguments are against gay marriage," he said. "They are trying so hard to find something."
In arguments before the Supreme Court last week, he said, "they brought forth all these ancient, debunked ideas," the basis of which is "so mean-spirited because it's basically that they're trying to say, 'We are better than them.'"
Conservatives, he said, can no longer deny that there are gay people in the world, "but they can't have marriage. That's for us. They can't have weddings. They can plan them, but they can't have them."
Watch the videos below, embedded via YouTube: