On Wednesday night's edition of "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert lashed out at his home state of South Carolina for failing to elect his sister Elizabeth Colbert Busch to Congress, and re-electing former Gov. Mark Sanford (R) to the congressional seat he held before running for governor.
"Folks, tonight I am angry," he said to the roaring crowd that greeting him at the show's opening. "And for once, that doesn't make me happy."
Rolling video clips of South Carolina's election results, he said, "And I think you know why."
"My sister lost!" he said, although he got his hopes up briefly when CNN said she'd lost, which, according to their recent track record, clearly meant she had won.
"Mark Sanford beat my sister," said Colbert, "and I believe that means that Mark Sanford is now my sister. And on behalf of my entire family, I want to say we're deeply sorry about him."
"I feel so betrayed by South Carolina," he mourned. "But if they're going to turn their backs on my family, I'm turning my back on them."
"From now on, and I never thought I would say this, I am from North Carolina," he said. "I'm a 'Tarheel' now, whatever the hell that means."
Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below: