On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert announced that he is hosting the show from a mobile studio affixed to the belly of a dirigible suspended in the air high above international waters. He said that he took the evasive action to escape the “hot, sweaty mass of man-meat that is no doubt writhing over the face of our once-great nation” in the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the 1995 federal legislation defining marriage as being between a man and a woman.
“Traditional marriage is now as defenseless,” he warned, “as a freshman frat pledge about to go through the spanking machine.”
“So, straight, married people listen up. If a gay person charges your marriage, you’re going to want to puff yourself up, make yourself seem bigger and try to frighten it off by talking in a firm, loud voice,” instructed Colbert, “about pleated denim or Jimmy Buffet.”
[Ed note: This gay reporter literally flinched while typing the phrase “pleated denim,” so clearly it must work.]
Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below:
WATCH: Trump advisor trashes Dr. Fauci — while pushing coronavirus conspiracy theories
White House economic advisor Peter Navarro pushed several conspiracy theories about the COVID-19 pandemic as the administration attempts to deflect blame for America responding to coronavirus worse than any other developed country.
At one point in the interview, MSNBC's Ali Velshi had to ask, "What are you talking about?"
Navarro harshly criticized Dr. Tony Fauci, who is one of his colleagues in the administration.
And he tried to blame the "Chinese Communist Party" for the disease, saying "they spawned the virus, they hid virus, they sent hundreds of thousands of Chinese nationalists over here to seed and spread the virus before we knew."
‘Gaslighting on a massive scale’: Doctor warns Trump is lying us into a COVID disaster
On CNN Friday, Dr. Celine Grounder tore into President Donald Trump's ongoing falsehoods about the coronavirus pandemic.
"No matter how many times public health officials, especially like Anthony Fauci, speak the truth, what does it do, Doctor, when the president continues to lie to the public in face of a public health crisis?" asked anchor Kate Bolduan.
"This is gaslighting on an enormous scale, and means until people eventually get sick or their family members get sick, the communities hit hard, they won't believe it, and then it will be too late," said Grounder. "The problem is there's a lag period from the time that somebody's infected and starts to develop symptoms a couple days later. We don't see people get severely sick and need to be hospitalized and in ICUs until a week into disease, and talking about probably one to two weeks of lag time from the time somebody's exposed at least before you start to see hospitalizations and then another couple weeks before you start to see deaths."
Katie Porter demands resignation of Trump small business chief for enabling ‘abuse’ of Covid-19 relief funds
California Congresswoman Katie Porter is demanding the resignation of the Trump administration's small business chief for enabling "abuse" and "waste" of coronavirus relief funds and refusing to comply with basic government oversight efforts.
Porter's call came after the Government Accountability Office (GAO) said in a report last week that it "encountered the most difficulty trying to obtain information from the Small Business Administration (SBA)" during the process of examining the Trump administration's handling of the $650 billion Paycheck Protection Program (PPP).