On Tuesday night's edition of "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert dedicated a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger" segment to America's non-rioting African-Americans and to the Fox News Channel.
By now, Colbert said, most people know that George Zimmerman was acquitted. Cable pundits like himself knew that "if Zimmerman was acquitted, our cities would burn," he said. He then rolled clips of Bill O'Reilly and others talking about the "race riots" that would surely explode forth from America's inner cities.
Those riots never came, obviously, and the protests that have taken place since the verdict have been largely peaceful in nature. In Tallahassee, Florida, a group of protesters sang quietly on the steps of the state capitol building.
"'Sang quietly?'" Colbert scoffed. "I ordered a riot and all I get is a folk festival? Stop singing 'If I Had a Hammer' and and start swinging one around."
"So," he said, "a wag of my finger at non-rioting black people. You cannot set the bar at Rodney King and then give me this weak-ass shit!"
Colbert's tip of the hat went to Fox News, for "bringing in some fresh blood -- and not just from Rupert Murdoch's wine cellar."
The morning show "Fox and Friends" will now feature Elisabeth Hasselbeck after Gretchen Carlson strikes out on her own with a new show in the fall.
"Or, as the brown-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy puts it," Colbert said, "'Are you my new mommy?'"
Watch the video, embedded below via Comedy Central: