On Wednesday night's edition of "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert recounted in detail the "G-O-Pissing contest" between New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) and Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul (R), the two men currently considered the most likely Republican contenders for the presidential race in 2016.


Re-branding his show as "TCR," Colbert adopted the breezy, breathless style of a TMZ gossip reporter, complete with sparkly graphics and awful, double entendre puns.

"Check out the latest dust-up between Chris Christie and Rand Paulie," he said. "When last we looked, the original Jersey Boy ripped Libertarianism, which everyone knows is our Paul's BFF, 'Best Filosophy Forever.'"

"And," Colbert continued, "the good Kentucky senator's response? 'Kiss my rebuttal!'"

Regarding Paul's recent crack about Christie's weight problem -- he called the governor "the king of bacon" in a spat about pork barrel spending -- Colbert accused Paul of hitting "below the belt."

"Which on Chris Christie," he said, "is anywhere south of the nipples."

"Let's keep an umbrella handy, folks," he concluded, "because with any luck at all, this G-O-Pissing contest will continue all the way to the convention."

Watch the video, embedded below via Comedy Central: