Always Wrong Bill Kristol, who survives on 3800 calories a day made up of six large scoops of human carnage marinated in the tears of Iraqi war orphans, was on Joe Scarborough's Caffeinated Conventional Wisdom housewife show Wednesday morning explaining that, in a world of $5 footlongs, there is no reason poor kids can't get three squares a day, provided, of course, those three squares are 3 pieces of Chex cereal.

The Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol thinks America needs to calm down about the shutdown.

“I think there’s a little bit too much hysteria,” Kristol said on Wednesday’s Morning Joe. “We’re going to have to have a negotiation.”

But The Huffington Post’s Sam Stein challenged him that real people are feeling the effects of a shutdown.

“Maybe in your world it’s not the end of the world,” Stein fired back. “Eighty-five thousand people are losing nutritional assistance in Arkansas, that’s not inside the Beltway, that’s Arkansas. Thirteen Head Start programs are closing in Connecticut.”

Well, no, that world isn't Bill Kristol's world where he gets money for being hilariously and, at the same time,  sadly wrong  all of the time and yet still keeps being invited back on TV to dispense gobbets of nonsense like a smarmy-faced Pez dispenser. Which brings us back to the fact that he was inexplicably on Scarborough's  Nepotism Coffee Klatch (See: Brzezinski, Mika - Geist, Willie - Ford Jr. , Harold - Halperin, Mark -  Russert, Luke  and Kristol, Bill) Wednesday morning.

But please, do go on, Bill:

"Look, I think if there are genuine human emergencies the Republican House should move to fund those relevant programs,” Kristol said looking skeptical. “But a one or two week shutdown is not going to be the end of the world and if you can’t go into the Smithsonian—” he began.

“Unless you’re on nutritional assistance,” Stein countered.

“It’s not going to be the end of the world, honestly, even if you’re on nutritional assistance from the federal government. The state of Arkansas can help out, localities can help out, churches can help out, I believe no one is going to starve in Arkansas because of the shutdown,” Kristol concluded.


To sum up (as well as to revive an old chestnut).

Shorter Bill Kristol: Eat a bag of charity dicks, kids.