The Jim Crow Medicine Show is now open to all

Back in 2008 America took  a deep breath and elected a black man to the Presidency  much to the dismay of conservatives who just knew that if you let one of those people into the White House  the first order of business would be to loot the treasury and give it all to the blahs.  You know the drill: reparations for ancestral enslavement paid out in Cadillacs, t-bone steaks, vodka, white women, and Obamaphones. This, of course, didn't happen as we instead gave all the money to Wall Street as a reward for not entirely destroying the world's economy. Heckuva job, greedheads! However the belief that the Obama administration used their mandate to hand out goody bags of taxpayers dollars, weed, slut pills and two-for-one abortion coupons has persisted til  [looks at watch] forever. And it is a gospel truth within the GOP bubble, as Cyborg-American and future trivia answer Mitt Romney has stated in his uncanny approximation of human speech patterns, that this is how Obama bought the last election. That, and by suppressing the vote with the Black Panther front group known as the IRS.

With the GOP unable to stem this crime wave of window smashing and flatscreen grabbing that you may know as "providing  basic humanitarian services to struggling poverty and sub-poverty level families", at the national level, Republican-run states are picking up the slack by working to deny their hometown slackers the ability to access basic health care even if it is paid with federal dollars.

Paul Waldman:

Many people are talking today about this article in today's New York Times, which focuses on the particularly cruel doughnut hole created when the Supreme Court allowed states to opt out of the expansion of Medicaid in the Affordable Care Act. The problem is that if you live in a (mostly Southern) state run by Republicans, you have to be desperately poor to qualify for Medicaid under existing rules. But it isn't until you get to 133 percent of the poverty level ($31,321 in yearly income for a family of four) that you're eligible for subsidies to buy insurance on the exchanges, because when the law was written the idea was that everyone under that income would get Medicaid. When all those Southern states decided to refuse the Medicaid expansion in order to shake their fist at Barack Obama, they screwed over their own poor citizens. So millions of people will be caught in the middle: not poor enough to get Medicaid, but too poor to get subsidies on the exchanges. But when we say "not poor enough," what we're talking about is people who are, in fact, extremely poor. And you'll be shocked to learn that in those states, the poor are disproportionately black. Could that have anything to do with it? Heavens, no!

So how poor is really really poor?

In Texas, the state that will be depriving the most people of insurance by rejecting the expansion, only families under 25 percent of the poverty level, or $4,894 for a family of three, will be eligible for Medicaid. I'm guessing that's about what Rick Perry spends on boots every year.

For comparison's sake, $4894 is what Sen Ted Cruz (R-Arsonist) makes for about seven days of work at whatever the hell it is that he does in Washington. Thank goodness he is insured under his wife's Goldman Sachs employee health care program. I'd hate to see a dollar over a weeks pay blow his shot as basic health services. That would be terribly unfair.

So the poors are getting thrown under the ambulance because everyone knows that real moochers are the dusky-hued shiftless types and, so sorry, white guy with a family who has lost his manufacturing job to cheap labor overseas because it is every CEO's fiduciary duty to squeeze every penny of profit out of the withering husk of American consumerism. We'd like to help you with your kids vitamin deficiencies and rotting teeth , but those people are taking advantage of the system. Tell you what: come 2014 we'll get back to you for your vote by appealing to your smoldering rage at the real people who are taking food and medicine out of your kids mouth.

Bless your heart.