Jon Stewart kicked off his holiday season on Monday by mocking the hypocrisy of "private sector" advocates regarding the Affordable Care Act while cheering Walmart's Thanksgiving weekend sales boom.
"So if a website crashes trying to give people health care, it is a national travesty," Stewart reasoned. "But if Walmart's website crashes while their stores fill with people disembowling each other to get Skyfall on Blu-ray ..." finishing the thought by kissing his fingertips.
After playing a clip of a Fox News contributor raving that if the government let corporations "run rampant" and deliver health care "for 29.99," Stewart reviewed clips from several "Black Friday" altercations and protests around the country, including one demonstration in California where a man dressed as Santa Claus was arrested.
"How bad does your organization have to be for Santa to be protesting your labor conditions?" Stewart asked aloud. "The man runs an elf sweatshop. He's got them working all hours, he's paying them in candy canes. God forbid you don't want to make toys anymore; you want to be a dentist? Oh no, can't do that."
But even as customers in the stores stabbed, shot, and even Tazed one another, Stewart pointed out, Walmart was one of several chains that saw its online sales also take off this year, to the point that the company's website crashed.
"Basically, Walmart spent months whipping consumers into violent frenzies, then subjected their workers to those frenzies during a holiday all while their website burned to the ground," Stewart said.
And while chiding the White House for the problematic implementation of the government health care exchange site, Stewart did admit to a pang of sympathy for former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum's complaints about the newly-improved site's "back end."
"I'm actually starting to feel bad for Rick Santorum," Stewart confessed. "My guess is that you folks, like myself, the first thing you thought of as you watched that was, 'Hey, it sounds like you're describing the frothy rectal juice for which you are named.' The poor guy has to watch his words no matter what he's talking about."
Watch the video clip posted online by Comedy Central: