Stephen Colbert returned from his winter hiatus in fine form Monday night, attacking New York Times columnist David Brooks for his recent anti-legalization column.
Colbert began by discussing the legalization of marijuana for recreational use in Colorado. After showing a clip in which an anchor declared that over $1 million of pot was sold on the first day it was legal to so, Colbert noted that that was "otherwise known as a 'Full Nelson.'"
"This news nauseated me so much," Colbert continued, "that I might just qualify for medical marijuana. Can someone check on that? Thank you very much."
He worried that the legalization of recreational marijuana is "gutting" America's "moral core...and the rest of our moral apple is being made into a bong."
"How dare Coloradans spend January 1st ruining their bodies with weed, when they're supposed to be at home vomiting all the booze from New Year's Eve, like God intended?" he asked.
"Thankfully," he added, "some patriots out there are standing up against 'Big Bud,' and they're not just ignorant buzzkills -- they're experienced buzzkills, like New York Times columnist David Brooks."
Watch the video below to see Colbert shred Brooks's argument against the legalization of the very same substance he once smoked.