On Wednesday night's edition of "The Daily Show," host Jon Stewart introduced correspondent Samantha Bee's tribute to her "family" at MSNBC's "Morning Joe."
There's "Daddy" Joe Scarborough, a "salt of the earth" rich former congressman, "Mother" Mika Brzesinski, the daughter of immigrants and their giant brood of "boy pundits."
"It's a perfect life in a perfect world," Bee enthused, "and we're all gonna be so happy forever."
The only thing that troubles this well-connected D.C. family is when mom and dad fight, Bee said, rolling clips of Scarborough and Brzezinski sniping at each other over various issues.
"Please stop fighting!" cried Bee. "Is it my fault? Please don't ruin Christmas!"
"I'm sorry," she wailed. "You guys are gonna get divorced, aren't you? Please don't make me go live with Lawrence O'Donnell! He doesn't flush the toilet!"
But the thing that pulls this family together, she said, is a threat to one of their own. Like Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ), a dear "friend of the show," who Bee prefers to call "Uncle Chris."
The "Morning Joe" team has put aside whatever differences they might have to rally around Christie, convey his sadness to the public, prop up his arguments and viciously attack his critics.
"I've learned something here today," Bee said. "Oh, sure, my 'Morning Joe' family may fight and bicker and star-f*ck like nobody's business, but when the chips are down for one of our powerful friends, we pull together to attack anyone who questions them. Because that's what morning news shows do."
"Daddy, Mommy," she said tearfully, "make my bed. I'm comin' home!"
Watch the video, embedded below via Comedy Central: