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WATCH: John Oliver predicts what happened this week so he can have Memorial Day off

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In order to justify taking Memorial Day weekend off, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver taped a five minute segment predicting what would happen this week.

Oliver began with an easy prediction, that “Lebron James dunked a basketball — forcefully — several times in front of Miami’s largest collection of assholes.”

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“Easy bet, right?” he asked. “Additionally, an old rich man last week was accused of racism or sexism and while trying to explain them away only seemed more racist or sexist. I’m not sure who that was, but we haven’t heard much from Donald Trump in a while, so I’m guessing that was him.”

“In international news,” he continued, “the situation in the Middle East was, let’s say, ‘complicated.’ But those were all easy. Let’s try something a little more speculative.”

“In Mexico,” he said, “congratulations to the drug cartels, which last week celebrated killing their one millionth bystander.”

He also made predictions about the future of General Motors, the Papacy, and the NFL.

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Watch the entire clip from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver below.

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Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. Like you, we here at Raw Story believe in the power of progressive journalism — and we’re investing in investigative reporting as other publications give it the ax. Raw Story readers power David Cay Johnston’s DCReport, which we've expanded to keep watch in Washington. We’ve exposed billionaire tax evasion and uncovered White House efforts to poison our water. We’ve revealed financial scams that prey on veterans, and efforts to harm workers exploited by abusive bosses. We’ve launched a weekly podcast, “We’ve Got Issues,” focused on issues, not tweets. Unlike other news outlets, we’ve decided to make our original content free. But we need your support to do what we do.

Raw Story is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. We’re not part of a conglomerate, or a project of venture capital bros. From unflinching coverage of racism, to revealing efforts to erode our rights, Raw Story will continue to expose hypocrisy and harm. Unhinged from corporate overlords, we fight to ensure no one is forgotten.

We need your support to keep producing quality journalism and deepen our investigative reporting. Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Invest with us in the future. Make a one-time contribution to Raw Story Investigates, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.



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Psychoanalyst says Trump’s ‘mental pathology’ means he ‘hates reality’

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