On The Colbert Report last night, Stephen Colbert defended gun owners against the newest lobbying group to target them -- the National Rifle Association.
"There's no bigger defender of the Second Amendment than old facey-face right here," Colbert began, pointing at his face. "I've always said that the best defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy hoarding guns in a backwoods shed muttering to himself about the coming race war -- which is why I support the 'open carry' movement, where patriots stand up for the Second Amendment by proudly displaying their guns in public places."
"At Patriot Fest last month," he said by way of example, "these two buddies posted photos of themselves with their guns at Chipotle. They were telling the world they're not ashamed of their gun-love. They're out, and they are proud. 'We're here, we've got gear, get used to it!'"
"But I'm sad to say," Colbert continued, "that the response to this Chipotle Chi-protest was for Chipotle and a whole slew of other restaurants to oppress gun-lovers."
"It's a domino effect," he said, referring to the list of restaurants who have asked gun owners to leave their weapons at home. "I just hope it doesn't spread to Domino's, because I really like to have a gun on hand after I eat there because I feel like killing myself."
"Nation, these restaurants are forcing patriots to make the hardest choice any American can face," he continued, "between high-powered weaponry and fried food."
"And now our Second Amendment rights are under attack from the liberal wackos at the National Rifle Association," he said, before reading from the letter the NRA posted on its website calling members of the "open carry" movement "downright weird."
Watch the entire June 3, 2014 episode of The Colbert Report via Hulu below.