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Jon Stewart: World is so ‘f*cked up,’ Germany and Cleveland are the happiest places on Earth

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Jon Stewart returned to the Daily Show after his vacation, he said, to find a world gone mad.

“Things are so f*cked up in our world, that the two happiest places in the world are Germany and Cleveland,” he fretted.

While the Germans are celebrating their World Cup triumph and Cleveland is happy to get LeBron James back, Stewart said, seemingly every other place on the planet is tied up in catastrophes. In California, he noted, thousands of Central American immigrants have been confronted by protesters telling them, “Go back to Mexico” or saying, “Jesus would not break the law.”

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“You mean radical destroyer of the status quo Jesus?” Stewart asked skeptically. “Barging into temples, overthrowing tables Jesus? Breaking the law was kind of his thing. In fact, he didn’t just walk on water, he jaywalked on water. That actually, if I know my Biblical history, is where the ‘j’ in ‘jaywalking’ came from.”

Even in the Middle East, Stewart said, the looming threat of the militant group ISIS overrunning Iraq still didn’t mean “catastrophe classic” was any closer to ending in Israel and Gaza.

While Israelis are able to download an app that warns them of an imminent attack, he explained, Gaza residents are alerted via “warning bombings” in their neighborhoods, followed by a 3-minute evacuation warning.

“Evacuate to where?” Stewart asked. “Have you f*cking seen Gaza? Israel blocked this border. Egypt blocked this border. What, are they supposed to swim for it?”

Watch Stewart’s commentary, as posted online on Monday, below.

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Trump says governors are ‘very happy’ with the job he’s doing — even though they’re begging him for more supplies

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At the latest coronavirus task force press briefing on Monday, President Donald Trump boasted that "every one" of the state governors in America are "very happy" with the job he is doing to help them combat coronavirus.

His claim is at odds with numerous governors who have complained that the federal government is not doing enough to coordinate the delivery of medical equipment and forcing them into bidding wars with other states.

Trump even tried to add later in the speech that Gov. J. B. Pritzker (D-IL) was "a happy man" even though "he may not be happy when he talks to the press."

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‘This president has muzzled science’: Doctor blasts Trump for ignorance over so-called ‘miracle drug’

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President Donald Trump refused to allow Dr. Anthony Fauci to answer what his opinion was about using hydroxychloroquine for coronavirus, something that hasn't been fully tested and has serious side effects. Dr. Kavita Patel explained that this is merely part of business as usual in the Trump White House.

"It couldn't be more obvious that this is an administration, this is a president that has stifled the press and in front of our very eyes muzzled science and I'm not sure -- I don't think we've even scratched the surface of understanding the depths of which this has happened, but you saw it play out on stage and unfortunately there are lives that are hanging in the balance," Dr. Patel said.

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Fox News pushes to ‘abandon’ membership in World Health Organization as pandemic rages

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A Fox News segment on Monday suggested that the United States should withdraw support for the World Health Organization as the coronavirus pandemic rages across the globe.

Fox News host Dana Perino spoke to former White House speechwriter Marc Thiessen about a Wall Street Journal op-ed that questioned whether the U.S. should be funding the World Health Organization.

Thiessen said that W.H.O. is "100% compromised" by China.

"Should the United States use a little big more muscle with the World Health Organization or should it abandon its support?" Perino wondered.

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