Bill Kristol, destroyer of ancient civilizations and political campaigns, has a few thoughts that even he admits are “simpleminded,” and he would like to share them with us. Guess what they’re about. Go on, guess. It’ll be fun!
If you said Bill Kristol wants to “blow up a Middle Eastern country that is not Israel ,” you would be totally correct but don’t be high-fiving yourself for knowing the answer because that is Bill’s suggestion for everything, including: “Outback? Or Fridays for happy hour?”
Appearing on perpetually chafed adenoidal radio talker Laura Ingraham’s show, Kristol was just spit-balling some ideas about what ‘Murica should do about this whole ISIL whosie-whatsis — just throwing some shit out there, because that is how geopolitical genius works.
Before we get to Kristol’s latest, lets rank a few of his greatest hits.
Coming in at #3, here is Bill Kristol actually being allowed to testify to Senate Foreign Relations Committee in 2002:
The larger question with respect to Iraq, as with Afghanistan, is what happens after the combat is concluded. The Iraqi opposition lacks the military strength of the Afghan Northern Alliance; however, it claims a political legitimacy that might even be greater. And, as in Kabul but also as in the Kurdish and Shi’ite regions of Iraq in 1991, American and alliance forces will be welcomed in Baghdad as liberators. Indeed, reconstructing Iraq may prove to be a less difficult task than the challenge of building a viable state in Afghanistan.
The political, strategic and moral rewards would also be even greater. A friendly, free, and oil-producing Iraq would leave Iran isolated and Syria cowed; the Palestinians more willing to negotiate seriously with Israel; and Saudi Arabia with less leverage over policymakers here and in Europe. Removing Saddam Hussein and his henchmen from power presents a genuine opportunity – one President Bush sees clearly – to transform the political landscape of the Middle East.
To his credit, Kristol was right about a transformed “political landscape of the Middle East.” Just not the one he envisioned.
At #2, here is Bill Kristol explaining that Iraq “is going to be a two month war”:
He would have been correct if his prediction had a margin of error of — give or take — 102 months. Close enough for shocking and awe-ing.
Topping the list at #1:
The next day, however, Kristol was still talking about Palin on Fox. “She could be both an effective Vice-Presidential candidate and an effective President,” he said. “She’s young, energetic.” On a subsequent “Fox News Sunday,” Kristol again pushed Palin when asked whom McCain should pick: “Sarah Palin, whom I’ve only met once but I was awfully impressed by—a genuine reformer, defeated the establishment up there. It would be pretty wild to pick a young female Alaska governor, and I think, you know, McCain might as well go for it.” On July 22nd, again on Fox, Kristol referred to Palin as “my heartthrob.” He declared, “I don’t know if I can make it through the next three months without her on the ticket.”
I’ll drink to that.
So, with those headlining his CV, what does Bill Kristol think we should do with ISIL?
Oh, bomb the hell out of them for a few weeks in the villages they occupy and let Yahweh sort it out:
“What’s the harm of bombing [ISIS] at least for a few weeks and seeing what happens? I don’t think there’s much in the way of unanticipated side effects that could be bad there. We could kill a lot of very bad guys.”
“Unanticipated side effects”
Shut up, Bill Kristol.
[Casualty image va Hermes Press]