On last night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert mocked presumed presidential candidate Rand Paul for the manner in which he bolted away from a Mexican DREAMer who could have asked him a question.
“Rand Paul has been appealing to minority groups by using the radical strategy of being appealing,” Colbert began, before showing a clip in which Paul said that “people seeking the American Dream are not bad people.
After showing another clip in which Paul says that Republicans “must offer the Hispanic and African-American communities something,” Colbert said, “Yes, Republicans need to offer the Hispanic and African-American communities something — like ‘anything.'”
“But to win the nomination,” he continued, “Paul still needs conservative voters, and their solutions to immigration range from deportation to glue traps. So to balance his pro-minority talk, Paul has been appearing with conservative Iowa congressman — and man who has a section of his basement you’re not allowed into — Steve King.”
“Unfortunately,” he said, “their campaign stops haven’t been all forced dead-eye smiles. Earlier this week, they sat down for a nice juicy burger only to be ambushed by pro-immigration activists. Watch how swiftly Sen. Paul reacts.”
Colbert then shows video of Paul’s hasty exit, adding “and just like that — Poof! — he’s gone.”
“And yes, as soon as he heard the word ‘Mexican,’ Sen. Paul sped off like a Central American death train,” he said. “But he clearly cares about the hispanic outreach — after all, he’s dressed like a pinata.”
“Naturally, the lame-stream media is accusing Rand of sidestepping a potentially damaging confrontation, but that is wrong,” Colbert said, noting that “he was not sidestepping, he was away-running! And he did it for a very good reason — presidential candidates have to stay in shape.”
Colbert then cut to a bit about “The Rand Paul-eo Diet,” which can be seen below via Colbert Nation.