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Devilspawn Chelsea Clinton’s Devilspawn 2.0 baby sends wingnuts into spiral of dumb

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Fresh off of a week of accusing the ISIS Muslim in Chief of destroying America’s military capabilities by giving all of our Marines PTSD with a highly-caffeinated double-mocha kale tea frappuccino salute, our nation’s wingnut rageaholics moved on, dragging themselves through the internet tubes at dawn, looking for an angry fix to satisfy their daily minimum requirement of bile.

Unfortunately for them, Benghazi Boo Radley went Full Metal RINO when he showed up for his Pickin’ an’ a Grinnin’ Benghazi Snipe Hunt — failing to bring hi lynchin’ rope — and there was a great sadness and un-gnashed teeth across #Benghazi #tcot-land.

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Try as he might, rapey fake-pimp James O’Keefe failed to set black hearts aflutter with his latest film, eschewing pimp hats and bin Laden masks, and embracing Dogme 95 to go after Wendy Davis.  O’Keefe’s most recent nothing-burger failed to move beyond the friendly confines of the Breitbart monkeyhouse and, even there, created very little hooting and poop throwing.

Back to the dildo boat, Jimbo.

So…what have we got?

Oooooo. Chelsea Clinton Newlonghardtospelllastname, daughter of Hillary Clinton and Webb Hubble (if Roger Stone is to believed, and why not?) had a baby girl named Charlotte in a baldfaced-attempt to secure North Carolina’s 15 electoral votes in 2016 …IF Nobama allows us to have an election.

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Following in the long tradition of Rush Limbaugh, who once compared young Chelsea Clinton to a dog, conservatives immediate began punching downward because: kids, they grow up so fast these days.

Here is David Frum, who once got fired by the White House after his nitwit wife humbled-bragged about ‘axis of evil’ bon mot:

Hahahaha. Politics. Always topical.

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Then you have the NY Post, dispenser of knowledge to the moves-lips-when-reading NYC meathead crowd, being droll: clintoncover Bringing up the rear — as he has no doubt done all his life from the dating pool to SAT scores — comes Jim Hoft, the Dumbest Man On The Internet (but don’t quit trying, Mathew Boyle), who uncovered this little nugget on E! Online while on a virtual date (hint: masturbating to)  song fawn Arianna Grande:

Gateway Pundit (Screencap)

Gateway Pundit (Screencap)

Blue dresses! You know what THAT means! (Hint: blowjobs. Blowjobs that make babies. Anatomy. Look it up.)

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As alert twitter-reader Forsetti points out:

You will also note that “Virgin” Mary had a baby with a man who was not her husband.

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Whores, all of them…

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Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. Like you, we here at Raw Story believe in the power of progressive journalism — and we’re investing in investigative reporting as other publications give it the ax. Raw Story readers power David Cay Johnston’s DCReport, which we've expanded to keep watch in Washington. We’ve exposed billionaire tax evasion and uncovered White House efforts to poison our water. We’ve revealed financial scams that prey on veterans, and efforts to harm workers exploited by abusive bosses. We’ve launched a weekly podcast, “We’ve Got Issues,” focused on issues, not tweets. Unlike other news sites, we’ve decided to make our original content free. But we need your support to do what we do.

Raw Story is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. We’re not part of a conglomerate, or a project of venture capital bros. From unflinching coverage of racism, to revealing efforts to erode our rights, Raw Story will continue to expose hypocrisy and harm. Unhinged from corporate overlords, we fight to ensure no one is forgotten.

We need your support to keep producing quality journalism and deepen our investigative reporting. Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Invest with us in the future. Make a one-time contribution to Raw Story Investigates, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.



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Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017

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Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?

That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.

It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.

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WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families

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As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.

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‘Slaves built the US the way cows built McDonald’s’ — and other historical ‘facts’ from Katie McHugh

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Katie McHugh was fired from Breitbart News on Monday after she wrote on Twitter that "there would be no deadly terror attacks in the U.K. if Muslims didn't live there" after a terror attack in London.

Below is an article about McHugh's from 2015. As you can see for yourself, she had a history of racist Twitter rants:

It must be very liberating to be a conservative right now. With fifteen GOP candidates still vying for a job that will never be hired for -- now that Rick Perry finally looks like the smart one by saying "Laters, losers" -- crazy talk wins the hearts and minds of the conservative base and everyone is doing it.

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