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John Oliver baffled by the Miss America pageant: “How the f*ck is this still happening?’

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On this week’s episode of Last Week Tonight, host John Oliver takes a look at the Miss America pageant and asks, “How the f*ck is this still happening?”

Showing archival footage of the pageant, dating back to the days when women were awarded points on the “construction of the head” and “torso,” Oliver explained that the pageant officials were using “code” to avoid admitting the obvious.

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Oliver noted that beauty pageants are only relevant these days when viral clips are shared, such as the infamous response given by Miss South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant, which has received over 61 million views on YouTube.

Oliver gave contestant Caitlin Upton credit, saying, “To be fair, the question she was asked was ‘Can you do an impression of a dictionary in a washing machine,’ and she nailed that.”

Calling the Miss America Pageant a classier organization than their competitors, Oliver noted that the Miss USA pageant is owned by Donald Trump, “a clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy.”

Oliver added that it is ironic that the Miss USA pageant is “owned by one of the ugliest souls on the planet.”

The host saved the bulk of his commentary for the Miss America Pageant organization’s claim of being “the world’s largest provider of scholarships for women.”

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Noting the Miss America Foundation’s assertion that they “make available $45 million in scholarships,” the Last Week Tonight staff researched the public tax filings of the non-profit and discovered that they only awarded $482,000 in scholarship money in 2012.

“Leaving us a mere 44 and a half million dollars short of what they say they provide, “Oliver said. “And at this point, we really had a clear choice: we could have just thought ‘sure, the number don’t really add up, but it’s only Miss America, who really gives a shit?’ or we could pull the tax forms from every state level competition in the country because this was starting to drive us f*cking insane.”

What the staffers discovered was some elaborate word play, hinging on the foundation’s use of the expression: “making available.”

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Watch the video below from Last Week Tonight to see how:

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2020 Election

GOP ridiculed for hyping Ohio anti-impeachment protest — and only a handful of Trump supporters showed

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The official Twitter of account of the Republican National Committee was buried in mockery after hyping up a video of anti-impeachment protesters in Youngstown, Ohio, where it appears only a handful of people showed up.

According to the tweet, "Ohioans are sick and tired of the Democrats’ impeachment charade. It’s time to STOP THE MADNESS!"

However, in the video from WKBN, which can be seen below, few people chose to show up for the cameras.

As one commenter noted with tongue-in-cheek, "Thought Ohio had a few more people than that."

That was the general consensus in the comments.

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Melania Trump scorched by columnist for standing by president’s Thunberg bullying: ‘Indefensible’

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In a piece for the Washington Post, columnist Karen Tumulty called out first lady Melania Trump for her statement defending her husband's bullying of 16-year-old environmental activist Greta Thunberg in a fit of jealousy after she was selected Time Magazine's Person of the Year.

Responding to a statement from the White House that stated, “BeBest is the First Lady’s initiative, and she will continue to use it to do all she can to help children. It is no secret that the President and First Lady often communicate differently — as most married couples do. Their son is not an activist who travels the globe giving speeches. He is a 13-year-old who wants and deserves privacy,” Tumulty wasn't having it.

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BUSTED: Devin Nunes is hiding how he’s paying for all his frivolous lawsuits — which could land him in more trouble

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On Saturday, the Fresno Bee dived into a lingering question: How does Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) pay for all the lawsuits he is filing against journalists, satirists, and political critics?

"Nunes, R-Tulare, has filed lawsuits against Twitter, anonymous social media users known as Devin Nunes' Cow and Devin Nunes' Mom, a Republican political strategist, media companies, journalists, progressive watchdog groups, a political research firm that worked for Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign and a retired farmer in Nunes’ own district," noted the Bee.

These lawsuits were mainly filed in Virginia — a state with very loose laws against so-called "SLAPP suits," or meritless lawsuits intended to drown people in legal expenses in retaliation for expressing political opinions. Nunes was assisted in these suits by Steven Biss, a Virginia attorney, and yet except for the suit against the retired farmer, there is no clear record in Nunes' FEC reports of how he paid for the suits.

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